Progress - and moving forward

I've had these blades for like 4 weeks maybe (sometime the week of the 24th of Mar).  I built a slideboard like the next week.  I've used the slideboard a few times (mostly b/c of weather).  I've managed to get in a skate about 2x a week (mostly due to location).  I'm trying to find a location that I can skate at that won't interfere with traffic.  I found a great little place not far from here, but the track is narrow so going around people can be difficult.  The other place nearby has too many hills.  I could get to the bottom and skate about a half mile in either direction, but that's it... that seems like enough, but again the trails are narrow.  On weekends there's a college nearby that has an empty parking lot.

In any case, I've been adjusting my workouts and have come up with an optimal solution for now.  I don't eat breakfast.  I opt, instead, for a vitamin cocktail and 24 oz of water.  I then continue to drink about 70oz of water through the rest of the day until dinner.  After that I'll have another 24oz or so of water.  I'm trying to keep my total intake to around a gallon of water.   I get in a snack of carrots at some point.  Then for lunch I have some form of lean meat (swai or chicken) and some veggies of some sort.  Then for dinner I'll eat whatever we're having (which isn't ever unhealthy).  90+% of the time I eat healthy.  I'm a healthy person except for the weight.  Any tests doctors do always come back normal.  My problem is moving and Coke.  I have a sedentary job that I do for many hours at a time and I drink Coke; not as much as I used to - maybe 3-4 a day - but I used to drink liters (plural) a day so dropping from 2+ liters a day to 1 liter a day is pretty good - my next step is again to cut out Coke completely and switch to semi-sweetened tea (< 1c sugar per gallon).  That doesn't seem like much of a change, right?  there's about 1c of sugar in a gallon of Coke.  The difference is that I drink less tea than Coke - so that gallon of tea lasts 2-3 or more days.  Instead of 1c of sugar each day, I've cut that to between 1/2 and 1/3 the amount.  The longer I drink tea, I eventually cut down the sugar to about 1/2c per gallon or so.  In any case, let's get back to what this is about.

My struggle has always been motivation to do for myself.  I spend a lot of time doing for others that I put myself last - this, I realize, is just an excuse to not do for myself.  I'm not sure why, but I have to change that thought process.  In January I posted about a Cognitive Shift - that held true until March or so, then picked back up shortly after.  I've been motivated to make changes - those changes are not to give myself excuses for not doing for me.  That means eliminating the "but I'm going to do xyz" or throw my wife under the bus "I'm going to spend time with my wife tonight".  My wife and I can spend time in the same room and consider that close time - I'd move the slideboard upstairs except for the sliding it does across the carpet and the fact that the floor is wooden (I could lay down towels) - once I figure out how to keep it from sliding I'll probably move it.  All of that aside, let's get to cutting out excuses.   I've never thought of them as excuses, but they are.  I can't do this b/c I need to do this.  That's an excuse - why can't I do both?  I do it all of the time with other stuff.  I want to watch an episode of Arrow AND read a book on electronic circuits - done.  I want to watch an episode of Enlisted AND work on my Cherokee studies - done.  I want to workout and watch TV with my wife - woah what the heck that's just not doable?  It doesn't make sense when I put it like that.

So what have I changed?  We'll get to that in a moment... let's cover some of my inspiration.

I've always been a huge proponent of my best friends advice to use my body weight whenever possible.  Ok Jason Statham isn't my best friend, but he does inspire me.

Arthur Boorman also inspires me.  You, sir, are my hero.  How many times have you felt like you wanted to give up?  How many times have you felt worthless?  How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought I'd workout today but I can do it tomorrow?  Arthur Boorman, I salute you.

This video is in the huffpo link, but I want you to see it and not just click the link.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/04/arthur-boorman-veteran-walks-again-yoga_n_1478847.html 

Here's a link to a longer video of this amazing story www.youtube.com/embed/bIXOo8D9Qsc

In 10 months Arthur went from 297 to 157 - that's 140 pounds!  That's not all.  Not only did he lose nearly half his size, BUT he could walk again without canes!  How inspirational is that?

Stephen Amell inspires me.  I like watching a show where the star does their own stunts.  I'm sure he doesn't do them ALL, but when I can see his face as he's leaping up a rack with a bar - that's impressive.

This is for my wife, but I can watch it all day.


Is that all Stephen Amell is?  No, absolutely not.  I am so impressed with how he handles his fans.  There are a few actors and actresses out there that I feel like are part of my family.  When something happens to them, it also happens to me.  Stephen Amell, Corbin Bernsen, and Gil Gerard are but three.  They share their inner life with you - they don't hold back - and they are awesome to their fans; absolutely superb.  Stephen seems like he's the kind of guy that could be my next door neighbor and we'd be besties (don't tell Jason Statham, I don't want them to fight, unless it's on camera with their shirts off so my wife will go see that movie too).  Seriously though, Stephen Amell is awesome with his fans.

For other inspiration, not related to working out, I love John Barrowman, Nathan Fillion, Jason Bateman, Jenna Elfman, Tony Horton, Wil Wheaton, Ellen, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, and Lou Diamond Phillips.  There are many others that I could include, but I'm going to cut this list off there.  They are all superb with their fans and all (including Stephen Amell and Jason Statham) seem like really great (down-to-Earth) people.  Those are the people you would know that inspire me.  There are many friends of mine that inspire me daily.

So now that I've revealed most of my bromances (and giggle my Jenna Elfman and Ellen crush - Hi Jenna, I <3 you); let's get to what I'm changing.

I've cut out nearly all "normal" cardio.  I will not be running, occasionally walking, but always skating (or hockey) or on the slideboard.  I enjoy these activities and while it seems like you don't get a big workout out of skating (blading) - it's not much different than walking when you're casually skating - and when you're going longer distances and times you definitely get a runner like workout - and I should mention it's fun.  Not to disparage anyone who likes running, but I do not.

Next, I've changed my workout.  I hate you Tony Horton (not really, I think you're probably a very nice guy).  P90X3 is on my list of todos, but not at the moment.  I find that the thought of doing something for 30 minutes straight is rough.  Not the actual exercise, but I am still working on shifting my thoughts to looking forward to it again - once that happens p90X3 will be back on the table.  So what am I doing instead?  Calisthenics.  When I have 5 mins here or there or am waiting on a call, I can jump up and do a bunch of pullups (ok right now I can't do any pullups), pushups, situps, jumping jacks, squats, lunges, whatever.  I work < 10' from everything I need to workout.  Back to Jason Statham style workouts using my own body weight.  I can do bench dips on a chair, or incline pushups, or do pulluplikethings on my pullup bar.  I have weights if I want to use them with squats or lunges.  Why not?  Here's a site that inspires me.  http://www.calisthenic-movement.com/english-version/

So now to my current goal - one pullup.  "What's that you say?  You can't do one pullup?"  No, I cannot.  I weigh 285+ pounds, I cannot pullup that weight.  I can do pushups (where Im pushing about 200 pounds).  I can do bar pulls where I'm at an angle and pull myself to the bar.  I can do bench dips.  I cannot do a pullup.  As a matter of fact, I can't even lift myself off of the ground on a pullup bar.  What I currently do is jump up above the bar and slowly lower myself down.  That's as close to a pullup as I can do.

Be nice to people.  Find what works for you.  Find your motivation.  Do it, even if it's not a lot.  Remember, I can't do one single pullup right now.  Finally, be an inspiration to someone else.  If they're struggling, help them up.

Blading

I've had the skates for about 2 or 3 weeks now. I've bladed probably 5 times, maybe 6.  That seems like a low number to me.  I've exercised on the slideboard at least 4x weekly since finishing it.

I've found one park for skating that has relatively flat surfaces and in the .46 mi trail everyone can see me and I can see everyone.

I would like to blade in a bigger area (church parking lot, or abandoned subdivision) - ill make some calls tomorrow to see what I can make happen.

Mostly I need to shift my thought processes back to just stopping work on time for a midday workout.  The hardest part is being stressed out and knowing you'll be better after the workout but being stressed enough that you feel like taking a break will mean you won't finish the work on time.  The truth is, if you took the time to get away you'd probably finish everything faster as your head would be clear.

Slideboard

I've not posted anything probably since my Jan 1st post.  Since I put all of that out there, I've had a very good year.

I was given a challenge to challenge myself to get back into a smaller size; not because I'm fat, but because I have my own goal (as I stated in my Jan 1 post).  I'm quite healthy despite my rotund 290+ body.  My blood work is always superb.  The cardiac tests are always perfect.  Other than being 290 pounds I'm quite healthy.  So the challenge was thrown towards the mid-end of February after a local convention.  I was, of course, in.

I have always hated running though last year I found myself craving running until I got injured then 20 hour days working derailed me and I gained 20 pounds where I'd been working hard not to gain weight.  I couldn't figure out what was going on.  I had some new running shoes (foreshadowing) that were awesome, but when I ran I got shin splints on the insides of my legs.  I went to Nashville for work and found that I was having a problem where my shoe had cushion on the outside heel where I've always had shoes with center heel cushion.  When I was running my foot was hitting towards my heel pushing down the heel and pulling up the toe causing an unusal (for me) rotation of my foot.  Long story short, I got new running shoes and my shin splints were gone.

I still had one problem though - snow, rain, snow, rain, snow, rain, etc.  A few weeks ago I thought about skating again, but my Rollerblades (hockeyblades) from literally 20 years ago (I bought them in San Antonio at a mall on the west side of town) were breaking apart at the heel.  20 years was brutal to the plastic.  I also had a problem where my foot has gotten fatter due to, well, fat and 290 pounds squishing them - they were painful to wear for more than a minute or two and would squish my foot into immense pain.

I went around the local area looking for skates - there were literally 6 different brands that I found and none of them felt good at all.  So, while I was in Nashville last week I decided to find a skate shop, which I did (http://asphaltbeach.com - a superb shop that knows what they're doing).  The owner had me try on a pair of skates that was almost perfect except just below the ankle it pinched a little.  So he had me try on a second pair that was perfect.  I hadn't skated in nearly 10 years without immense pain in my foot.  I bought the skates right there and had them shipped home... for the first time in years I was really, really excited about working out.

When I got home, still rain, possible snow, rain, it didn't seem like the weather was going to work with me.  I remembered back in the early 90s that there were these "sliding boards" that people had that could roll up, but they slid back and forth when they couldn't skate and they simulated skating.  So I looked some up and after a few prices shocked me I decided to build one.

I looked all over and found a few models to try.  One was whiteboard (smooth melamine) glued to plywood.  I'm not that handy with tools so I needed something simpler.  I will, oneday, try the whiteboard glued to plywood, but not until I have someone that can work with it better than I can.

Here are the different sites I found:
http://www.longtracklongshot.com/Blog.php/how-to-build-a-slideboard-for-dryland-skating-imitations-hockey-inline - this is the one I chose
http://www.todayfitness.net/budgetbody/makeslideboard.htm - I thought this one would work the best
http://www.instructables.com/id/Slide-Board/ - this one seemed ok, but when I went to Home Depot the guy didn't know what the "deck flashing" was so I didn't try any more

There are many other variations - one is of a smooth hardboard with a coat of wax (that seemed like it would work ok too) and others that are basically polished wood frames.

I took the melamine, cut my pieces of 2x4 and put them underneath the ends.  I measured from the end about 7.5" and drilled three holes through the shelf and into the wood blocks.  I used 2.5" flush wood screws (if you want to know the exact ones I can get those for you) that I purchased from a local hardware store (not Home Depot).  I did the same thing at the other end.  I flipped the board over and put the microfiber cloths down and started sliding.

It was at this point that I noticed I wasn't sliding 7' like the author of the post I used.  I did about 10 strides and found that I was stopping about the same place every time and it felt like the right distance.  I marked that location, removed the end board, and re-attached the end board the same way as before but in this new location.

I then did about 10 minutes of slides and I felt the inner thigh, quad, and butt soreness that I expected and remembered from all those years of skating up to 12 miles a day.

I have a few tasks to do to make the board a little better:
1) cut off the one end
2) make microfiber booties
3) figure out what makes the melamine a little more slick
4) keep the board from moving across the carpet (everytime you bump one end it slides) - I may try putting the rubber workout mats under and see if that works... if that doesn't work then I'll find a nonskid something to put underneath.

downsides:
1) it's not portable.  If I go on vacation, it's not going with me.
2) it's heavy and 4'-5' in length
3) it's not like I can haul it upstairs to watch TV with my wife nightly - so I'm going to have to come up with a way to be able to watch TV with my wife and still "skate" - which probably won't be a problem if I'm "skating" earlier in the day.

bonuses:
1) I can now "skate" even when the weather is bad so there aren't any excuses for getting in at least a 20-30 min skate  (or "skate") daily or a couple times a day.
2) cheap to make - 20 bucks for the board, a scrap piece of 2x4, 4-5 bucks for the screws (b/c I got a big box for other projects around the house, 3 bucks for the microfiber cloths, and 3 bucks for the "endust" -- total project cost 28 bucks or so.  Total building time < 10 minutes (not including travel time to hardware stores).

The one video recommends spraying with Endust once before each use.

Enjoy!

The New Year Cognitive Shift

This is going to be a scattered collection of thoughts.  You may or may not follow it, hopefully you do.

First, I hate New Year's resolutions.  They seem like a good idea, but if they're good enough to do on New Year's Day then why aren't they good enough to do at any other time?  Is it the tangible I made it 365 days challenge?  I digress.  My point is not to rail on the traditions of yesteryear - it is to move forward and my challenge to myself and everyone else.

Here's my challenge (in 2 parts): Be something awesome.  Do something awesome.

This seems like a strange challenge.  What I mean is that you should be you, do the things you love to do.  Don't worry about what other people think.  I wear bright yellow shoes - I don't care what people think about them.  They make different colored shoes so we can wear what we want.  The reason I started wearing them in the first place was to get over my own insecurity so I could be more at ease doing stand-up comedy.  What better way to get people to look at you than to do it on purpose.  Now, I really like my shoes and own three pairs.  I picked out the shoes I wanted and thought were cool.  It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  I'm also the proud fan of the Calgary Flames - and I live in SW Missouri.  I am, quite possibly, the ONLY Flames fan in this area; I don't care.

This goes for most things in my life.  I do them because I think they're cool and not because other people think they are.  There is one part of my life that this is not the case - and that's when I write.  I get bogged down by details that make no difference.  I can't clear my head and get what I want on paper.  I have nagging thoughts telling me I'm not good enough; it's not good enough; nothing is good enough.  Is this the perfectionist in me?  Is this a chemical imbalance that cannot be changed without medication?  Is this a cognitive shift that needs to occur to pull me into a place where I think the opposite?  I don't know.  For 10 years I feel that I've been defined by my illnesses and that I've not defined them.  I have been diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive and overfocused), PTSD (the comedian in me wants to say "due to my first marriage" but it's really Iraq), and major depression (2ndary to PTSD.)  I like to have a good time, but my wife says I often say things that are "downers."  That's at least something I can work with :)

I love writing and I always have.  If I can visualize the script I can write it.  The problem I have quite often is an inability to visualize the script.  This is not because I am unable to under normal settings, but because I let other things creep in that keep me from visualizing.  This can range from the mundane life details to feeling "down" and letting my FB status checks get in the way of writing or at least quiet time so I can visualize.

I decided about a month or more ago that I was going to fix that issue.  For me, an introvert and over thinker, that meant analyzing the issue from a ton of different angles and over analyzing it to the point that I was just about to stop when I read an article by Wil Wheaton (https://wilwheaton.net/2013/12/not-everyone-is-going-to-like-the-thing-you-made-and-thats-okay/) which started to flip me in a direction that I wanted to go with my life.  That direction sounds something like: "I'm happy with this, if you're not that's ok" - I may or may not have used more harsh language, but you get the idea.  I'm tired of feeling like my creativity is dictated by others negativity (or perceived negativity, or potential negativity.)  This can be debilitating at its worst.

A few weeks ago I went on a road trip for a client and read a book about introverts and extroverts that my wife said I should read.  I learned a TON about myself and why I do things the way I do.  I'm all about the why.  If I know why, then I can either make changes to fix the now or recognize when those things happen so I can change the direction.  What I learned is that I am not broken.  I do have an internal dialogue that continues repetitively through a problem (or in this case we're talking about negative feedback) and I take it personally.  I shouldn't take it personally, but I do.  A cognitive shift would be to reframe (there's my NLP background coming up) the event so that I expect some negativity and negative feedback, not as criticism, but a different viewpoint.  That's a difficult thing to do.  I think it's a difficult thing to do, maybe for everyone, but especially for me.  As I'm doing something or presenting something I apologize for it.  "Here's something awesome I did, but I know it's not quite right here and here" the viewer may not EVER notice, but I do so it's not perfect.  This is what I do with my creativity.  I don't hear painters say "well I wanted another happy little tree here, but I ran out of color" - they just present it and there it is.

I want to make a change, so now what?  Well, we're not quite done with the exploratory phase of this writing.

For many years I've struggled with my weight.  Struggled as in coming to accept it.  I don't like being as heavy as I am and the last two years I've worked out more than I've ever worked out probably since graduating high school, with the exception of basic training and AIT.  If you've been reading this blog then you know I was running.  In 2012, I was working out regularly until stress from work intervened and I missed some workouts.  Then I started back up in July of 2013 and ran quite regularly until again work stress caught up to me and i was working 60 hour weeks and didn't have (or make time) for working out.  Not because working out was rough, but because working out meant that was a stressor that I needed to handle like everything else in my life.  Something has to go and I'll always choose the things that are "for me" and nothing that benefits anyone else.  In those 8 weeks of stress my eating changed from mostly vegetarian to pure crap.  I would eat anything and everything.  I went from no Coke to 6+ cans a day.  I also quit working out.  I went from 270-275 pounds up to my current (today) 295.  That's a huge effing setback.  I don't feel down about gaining the weight.  I was expecting some, not that much, but some.  I'm not depressed about the weight gain.  Back in Sept I had to quit running because my 270+ pound frame was crushing my left shin to the point that running daily was killing me with pain.  So I've not run since sometime around 11Sept13.  The strange part is that I've wanted to.  My entire life was spent HATING running and now I want to and I get injured when I do.

This article (http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p2/) resonated with me quite a bit. I watched the movie Saving Mr Banks (awesome film btw) and it dawned on me that Walt Disney had a drawing of a mouse he loved and that was it. he didn't care if anyone else liked it; didn't care about anything except that it was his and he wanted to share it. In today's age I think there is so much focus given to "not offending xyz" that we forget that bitter people are always going to be offended.

Anyway, the line is on this second page toward the bottom "Also, courage. It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created."

That rings very true for me. I worry that whatever it is I'm writing or filming will not be funny enough or good enough or look like crap on screen, etc. I don't think about if I'll be happy with it so much (other than I want it to be perfect;))

And then there's this "Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you try to build or create -- be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship -- you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it."

My life has started to change based on an article by Wil Wheaton that said something along these lines. Then another video, this time by Ashton Kutcher. And this article, and a few others out there that I didn't keep track of.

So, to recap there are a few things that I want to discuss, if nothing else so you can understand that they are there and you are not alone.

1) my weight.  I want to be smaller - not just so I can fit into an airplane seat better, but also so I can touch my toes and chase my kids without dying.  They're very active and I want to be a part of that not just the fat guy at the bike park staring at kids.  Again, I feel no shame in my size.  My wife does not make me feel like a loser.  I just want this.  If nothing else I want to do it so I can torture my wife forever.  If I die, I lose out on all that joy.

2) sitcom - this is more about creativity than a sitcom, but for me it starts with my sitcom dream.  I want to be creative and NOT be debilitated by recurring thoughts of worthlessness and how someone will poopoo my ideas and the script.

3) be awesome/do awesome - just be.  There are people who are going to hate on you for doing something, anything.  Your job is to do whatever it is you love the best you can and be/do awesome.  Don't be drug down by people who think your idea of awesome is stupid.  My 8 year old wears basketball shorts and a buttondown shirt with green camo rubber boots and thinks it looks cool and doesn't care what others think.  You can too.

At the end of this year I will be able to say that I ran a 5k, I lost 100 ish pounds, I'll have run and biked and played with my kids, and I wrote and filmed a sitcom that makes me laugh.  That will be me doing awesome for the year.

What will you do this year that will be awesome?

update:
here's another post that I found today: http://lifehacker.com/stop-caring-about-what-others-think-and-get-back-your-1493922746

update 2 (15Jan14):
Here are two more posts I found yesterday and a reply I posted about one of them:
https://medium.com/on-ownership/42ec08cd5105

https://wilwheaton.net/2014/01/and-i-am-nothing/
From a friend: Yup,I'm having troubles with depression right now. I want to eat junk food that will guarantee I become a diabetic, then beat myself up over the junk food. Then just sit in my chair mentally beat myself up while I zone out & not pay attention to what ever is on tv. And in turn that doing out I get nothing accomplished except for feeling bad that I got nothing accomplished. That's how I'm feeling at the moment

My Reply:  Hey brother. that's how it goes. Here's what I do: I get up and have a plan for the day. I ony have three things I need/want to do other than work; 1 - work on my cherokee language book that I started for the kids -- 2) workout for 30 minutes with Tony Effing Horton -- 3) Work on my sitcom. That's it. When I get to lunch time and think about working out I end up finding another reason not to (mainly stress about work - even though I know a workout will relieve that stress) -- then at the end of the day I spend that time not focused on either the book or the sitcom. I know if I dropped FB for a bit I'd be much better off and if I just shut everything down I'd be much better. But I don't. Right now, I'm doing a little work waiting for a reply AND futzing with FB. Tonight, I'll be a little depressed b/c I should've worked out; I mean what's 30 mins in my life, right? And I'll feel better having gotten something outlined or shots setup for the sitcom or even got a few notes laid out for the book. I KNOW that... but I don't know why I dont work on them - so I feel depressed and crappy that I didn't "will" myself to doing something else. Once I get to the point I'm beating myself up then it's easier to keep going: If I'd been working on this for 15 mins a nite I could've been done with it 20 years ago, but after 27 years I'm still writing my book...why the hell isn't it done. Or I can't finish a friggin script anymore it's been 16 years since I started out and the script has changed a bunch, why is it that I don't jump in and finish it. Sorry this is long, buddy -- but I wrote about this very thing on the 3rd:http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/.../the-new-year... I've also been beating myself up b/c I can't build anything. I would need @Joshs help to understand why my foam building is crap Once I find out why I'm unable to get it the way I want it or once I can visualize it then it's easier. Man this got long. I'm looking inside to find out what the reason is that I'm not moving forward but staying stagnant. This is the year I've dropped ALL other projects and I only have my projects to work with...so what am I doing holding me back? And I'm always here if you want to talk


https://wilwheaton.net/2012/09/depression-lies/
Dear Mr Wheaton, you are not alone.

The Story of the Snow Cat

This blog is really about my weight journey... I mean, that's what it's called - so I've not deviated from that, until today.  This story was important enough that I tell it in long form rather than a mere Facebook post.

I don't remember much of my childhood, for whatever reason; however, this memory is one of only two that I have kept.  I do have some small memories, but not of much.  This story pertains to a GI Joe vehicle called the "Snow Cat."  http://www.yojoe.com/vehicles/85/snowcat/

What I remember is that I was about 8 or 9 and we (my family) had just moved to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma and my dad had just gotten a bonus or something with the move and the new job.  The details after that are next to nothing.  In order to celebrate, my dad took us to Toys 'R Us to pick out a new toy.  I remember that he said we could pick out anything.  I only wanted the Snow Cat.  I don't know what my sisters picked out.  When we got to the counter the lady at the checkout told my dad that they wouldn't take "counter checks."  Counter checks are the checks you get when you first open a bank account.  They don't have an address or name on them, just a blank upper left corner.  I think my dad argued with her that he had just gotten the job or something.  About the only part I do remember was being disappointed that he wanted to do this one thing but was unable to.  I think my sisters cried.  I probably cried too.

So, I was telling my daughter (Allie) this story some time ago.  She asked me all about it, like she does everything, and I sent her a link to the yojoe site (also referenced above.)  Last week she asked if she could buy something on ebay with my paypal account and then she and my wife worked together to get it.

It is the best birthday present I've ever gotten.  Thank you, Allie!

Day 35 - Fourth Time

I have not missed many run/walk/jogging opportunities lately (we'll simplify this to call them runs).  If I have not run it's been because I've been sick or it's rained...and it's rained a lot over the last two weeks.  However, I am glad that I didn't run for one of the weeks as it gave me time off to recover; and my times have gotten better.  The last two runs I've done I shortened my overall distance by half.  That seems counter intuitive, in a way, however my goal is to run this 80 foot (high not distance) drop then 80 foot rise and the sections in between - once that happens then add a second one.  After that, then go back and do the one long course adding another half and so on.

Before today's run I watched a couple of videos that I think have been very good at describing how to run - I've included those at the bottom of this post.  You would think that having been in the Army for 17 years and being a horrific runner that I would've been able to find people who would teach me how to run...but that's not the case.  I would get horrific shin splints (caused by pulling my toe up just like you do when you march), calf pain (caused by landing on my heels), and I was always exhausted at the end and felt like I was going to die.  About two weeks ago I wanted to improve my form so I would actually enjoy running (which I did from June to October of 2002 when I was able to hit 5 minute miles.)  So I read about how I was heel striking (and I bought new shoes) - so I fixed that and started to lean forward - at the waist which would give my quads and but a great workout; so much so that I couldn't go up and down the steps in my house.  I figured that wasn't right, but I continued.  Then I watched the two videos below and a few on Chi Running...they look awkward, yet smooth and effortless - so I started practicing some of these techniques and today I cut another 2 minutes off of my time - which is pretty exciting.  My lungs were yelling at me wondering what the hell I was doing, but within a few minutes after finishing they felt better than before...and I felt like I had done something (and didn't want to die afterwards.)

I've officially been running since the 14th of June, but I've been much more consistent since the 16th of July (so about 1 month.)  I do try to get out at least twice a day.  My goal is to do something like P90X2  in the morning and run 2x a day - or do 2 runs (one to start the day and one at noon then P90X2 later.)  I eat very healthy; by very healthy I mean mostly vegetarian and almost no cheese at all.  My Achille's heel happens to be Coke - which I'd like to cut out completely.

So, what changes have I noticed the last 1-2 months of running?

1) Well, the biggest change I've noticed is that I look forward to getting out of the house and I don't feel so bad putting myself before work.  As a matter of fact, I put myself before everyone two times a day - this is quite a first for me.  It doesn't matter what goes on at noon I put skype to 'away' then change and go run - I then do the same thing about five pm.

2) I've also noticed my stress level gets down.  I look forward to the run and when it's a more than normal stressor of a day I look forward to the run even more and I'll even count down the minutes until it's here.

3) Because the route I run is semi-secluded the medic in me steps up.  I hydrate better than I normally would and I make sure that I eat something small like carrots before the run.  After the run, I try to eat so I don't get sick.  I spent 12 years not eating breakfasts and lunches then eating dinners.  For dinner, I try to eat in more moderation.  I used to eat a ton of dinner because I didn't eat the rest of the day.  I still eat more dinner than I probably should, but not as much as I used to.  I also attempt to have more salads before dinner and sometimes that means I don't eat what everyone else has - and I don't feel bad (e.g. not well) nor do I miss it.

4) I have more energy and even though I go to bed later and don't want to get out of bed as early in the morning, I don't have the afternoon "nap" feeling.

5) I have a clear head to finish out the workday.  One of the hurdles I had to overcome was the belief that if I didn't stare at the problem for hours on end then I wasn't getting it done.  I have since realized that if I run into an issue and step away (like I used to when I smoked) it clears my head and I usually find the answer while I'm away from my desk.

That's it for today.  I think I've spent enough time on this blog entry :)


 

Day 17 - Fourth Time

    Over the last year, or so, I've been "working out" off and on.  A little over 14 months ago I was working out very regularly, and eating very healthy.  Then I became stressed out about a project at the office and then I changed jobs...then I all but stopped working out.  I had just been hired as a new developer (to this company) working from home and felt like I needed to prove that I deserved to work for this company (because I do deserve it and I like the company quite a bit.)  So I slacked off workouts.  Occasionally, I would take 30 minutes here or there and watch a cartoon while on an elliptical, but my workout had become an "occasionally do something more than just sit at my desk" thing.  If any time passes between the end of one of my workouts and when I get inspired to workout again i start a new round...so this is the fourth round...and I'm determined to make it the final round.

    Late on the 15th of July I was inspired to start doing Insanity again... but I did not.  I had planned to start on Monday and I joined a fb group for the sole purpose of doing insanity...instead I did something different - I was stressed out from work.

    Stress from work can push you to your limits a couple of times a year.  It's not always that work is the stressor, but that there is a whole life that adds stress and the one time I especially need not be stressed out is work.  For me, there are a few times a year that I am pushed to the brink.  I have a very chaotic life that I'm unsure how I manage it.  I can tell (that I'm stressed out) because I have an increase in migraine-like headaches, an increase in depression (just wanting to sit on the couch or take naps at night), and a hatred for all things (meaning I get short-tempered about everything - which I do my best not to take it out on people - and I feel horrible if I do.)

    For 13+ years I've worked the same way.  I rarely take a lunch, opting instead to work through lunch so I can get done a little early, which I end up working a little later.  It is only in the last year that I have been forced to set an 730-330 (no lunch) or 730-430 (with lunch) timeframe as I have not had a whole lot of time that I could bill overtime.  I must say that it's been nice.  I've managed to get my days into a 7:30-430 or 8-5 schedule, and take a lunch, and walk/run twice a day (just in the last two weeks.)  I'm very happy with how that's going.  Back to the stress - I felt like I was so stressed out that if I didn't step away from the computer I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack...so what did I do instead?  I got workout clothes on, grabbed my phone, headphones, sunglasses, and car keys then drove to the nearby trail around a local campus and started walking.  Disclaimer: If you feel like you're going to have a stroke or heart attack don't just go walk like I did, call 911 or go to urgent care.

    I was in a zone - I already felt better stepping away from the computer.  From doing yoga at lunch a few months earlier I knew that once I got started my brain would basically stop focusing on whatever I was doing and "clear out" so-to-speak.  And towards the end of the walk that's exactly what happened.  I had run/walked this trail with the kids before (they rode bikes) and so I knew about how far it was and what to expect.  As I neared the end of the session my mind had cleared and I felt a bit calmer.  I was still stressed out (I would almost say burnt out,) but I felt better - I didn't feel constrained...so I did it again later in the day.

    Since starting walking on the 16th of July I have walked an average of about one time a day.  There have been a few days that it's been rainy or over 90 degrees and I didn't feel like it was safe; the path I walk winds down by a creek and has steep slopes so rain can flood part of it...and while a lot of the path is shaded by trees 90+ degrees is still quite hot and I didn't want to have some sort of heat episode and not be in a position to get help (even with my phone right there.)  So, I went out and bought a baby Camelbak - it's actually a Mini-M.U.L.E. which is a kids Camelbak (though it holds 70oz of water) and I purchased these very nice bicep sleeves that hold my phone (I only need one for my workout obviously) that wick water away from the phone.  These sleeves are fantastic!  I highly recommend them - I don't even notice that I'm wearing them and they don't get hot.  They're a spandex material that is very comfortable.

http://www.nxeproducts.com/cgi/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=EX-SLV-BW

    I actually look forward to workouts now.  I'd still like to do Insanity and/or P90X2 (I just found out today there's going to be a P90X3) but for the time being, I'm liking the walk/runs.  I'll save P90X(2)/Insanity for when the weather gets crappy.  I don't want to add too much to workouts that I lose this drive.  I'd like to continue wanting to workout for a while.  I like the calm that I get after the sessions are over and they're bringing a new level of calm to my work.  When I get stressed out I know that I have x amount of time to go until I'm going to stop and take a break to clear my head.  I've even gotten to the point that I will stop what I'm doing AND eat luch.