W2D2 - BABC

Yesterday was good and bad.  I managed to get some things moving in my digestive system; however, I also added more to the system so I didn't do what I intended to.  At the end of the day, I was right back where I started at.  I really need to flush my system and maybe I'll do that tomorrow or Thursday.  I have too much to do around town to do that today to be trapped in my car to have a need to go to the bathroom.

I did get in my 30 minute bike ride.  I pushed really hard the last minute of my ride; up from 30s yesterday.

W2D1-BABC

I did crappy logging my workouts and eating for last week.  I got things put into myfitnesspal, but not here.

First, an admission of badness - I ate like complete crap this weekend.  I didn't eat one vegetable that didn't come as a tater tot, quesarito, or at one point a french fry.  I am not sure what I was thinking about, but eating better wasn't really one of the thoughts.  Most of the time, it was just "my wife is out of town and we have no food in the house and I don't want to mess with making the kids food"

Second, I worked out this weekend, but not in my home gym.  I cleaned out my garage and spent about 4 hours doing so in the heat Fri night, Sat, and Sunday.  I sweat a lot and was sore from moving crap around.  I wouldn't say that I worked out vigorously for 4 hours - maybe 30 minutes of vigorous workout is what the 4 hours could be compressed in to.

Third, my body needs to be flushed.  After I eat I have intense heart burn and hiccups.  That's usually due to being "full" in the intestinal regions.  Today was a colaise day and lots of water.  I think when I had the protein shakes that caused some stoppage.  I had plenty of water, but I think there was already the start of a blocker.  This is also evidenced by the rapid gain in weight that I've got going on from 176-179 up to 190 in about a week and a half.  Now, I've eaten crappy, but there's no way an 11-14 pound weight gain happens with me in a week and a half... then I noticed my bathroom visits haven't been productive... so if colaise isn't kicking in then I'll have to call for MOM (update I had to call MOM).

In other news, the bike seat isn't hurting as much as it did the first two days.  I'm not sore when I sit in a regular chair after so that's good too.  I've also been paying better attention to my phone calls while on the bike b/c I literally can't do anything else.

I biked 30 minutes on my call this morning.  I need to get in my 30 minutes of the Pull Up Program and setup the camera to record my doing Cize.

I've outlined my eating plan for tomorrow so I need to make sure I stick with it.

W1D1 - BABC

It has been smoking hot the last few weeks.  The AC in the house has been keeping the house cooler.  By cooler I mean not the 90+ outside, but 77+ inside.  It's been rough for a guy with a lot of fat, like me.  I have been watching Survivor with my wife on Amazon Prime - I could not have watched this show each week on regular TV - the commercials, waiting, etc.  I also hate some of the people and look up wikipedia to see when they go.  In any case, I'm pumped up.  I challenge myself to some things in life and all of the ones I can think of involve something cerebral.  I've never challenged myself to anything physical except in BCT and AIT.  My only physical challenge has been to do a pull up, one single, solitary pull up.  I want more.  I want to go out in the heat and not be so hot b/c of fat.  I want to go out and be able to do things with my kids like ride a bike up a hill without stopping or walking my bike.  I want to be able to do the things they do at cali-move, or al kavadlo, or frank medrano.  I can do it.  I want to be able to climb a rock wall.  I weigh too much to be on a rock wall.  I want to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what I see.  I know a lot of my depression and issues with not feeling worthy play into not working out as well as get aggrivated by not being able to look in a mirror and see what I think should be seen.  My thighs are bigger around than my waist was in 1993 when I graduated from BCT.  I don't want to hear stupid shit like "you should be happy with who you are" and moronic crap like that.  I should be - I am not because how I am now is not who I am.  I don't give a crap what others think of how I look or how my clothes fit.  *I* care and that's the important part.  It's time to make the difference so I'm happy with seeing what is in the mirror.  There are so many things that are difficult to do at this weight and size.  Im not unhappy with me and I'm not unhappy at this size.  I am unhappy that I'm unable to do all of the things I want to bc I'm not in shape.

I did mostly well yesterday.  I did not have my full workout plan done until the evening.  I ate ok for almost the entire day then at the end I had Dr Pepper.  So tomorrow, I start over with eating correctly.

I wrote out a workout plan that figures out how to get in 4 workouts most days:
30 min bike ride
30 min cize
30 min pull up program
45 minutes pull up expansion which is done 5 minutes every hour from 8-5

That's a lot of workout for the day; however, none of it impacts my day.  I ride the bike during my conference call.  I do cize and pull up program over lunch.  And every hour I need to get away from my desk and drink water so I take 5 mins and get in a mini-workout.  According to myfitnesspal the total caloric burn is 2359 - and my total intake for the day is going to be a lot less (1200-1800).  We'll see how this goes.  I'm excited to do it, but I'm also apprehensive about it being too much.  However, I figured it up for 4 and 8 weeks.  So all I need to do is push for 4 weeks and then I'll be used to it so then I can push to the 8 week mark.  I can do anything for 4-8 weeks.  After that, I'd cut the exercise time down.  So we'll see how my body reacts during the next 4-8 weeks.

W1D0 - BABC

This is the start of my final run at becoming healthier.  I'm not going to add much of anything to the previous post.  I will say that I bought Shaun-T's Cize... I can't dance.  However, I've decided to do something that I hadn't thought of before; I'm going to record my workouts, especially those doing Cize.  If I record the workouts then I'll have an exact record of what I did do and when I'm done.  Then I'll be able to take the footage and show what I looked like starting and what I am able to do when I'm done.  Below is the basic plan.  It's not complicated.  The hardest part is going to be getting started.  Once I've started then this plan won't stop... For me, it's like the walk before you start jogging or running.  There's a point where you're already walking and where you need to be to do your jog/run and then you pick up the pace and your feet move faster and then you're jogging/running.  After that, you don't stop because you're already going.

5 min pull-up plan every hour from 8am to 5 pm
Cize w Shaun t daily
Pull-up Program/Feel Good Full Body schedule daily
Ride bike 30-60 min during morning phone call
Eat correctly following Badass Body recommendations
Drink a minimum of 8 8oz glasses of water
Meditation or Tai Chi and some Yoga
write in blog - weigh daily; measurements once a week; pictures every 2 weeks

Today, the first day consists of doing the first videos and recording what I can currently do.  This includes: pull up, plank, dips, cize, photos, and measurements.  I'll do a comparison with previous results, but only to show the backslide not in reference to this start.  In the last 5 months I've gone from 260-265 back up to 285 and my size has gotten back up (which we'll see below in the table of comparisons).  Essentially, I'm starting over - the measurements and pics will show just how starting over I'm going to be.  I find the following chart to be interesting.

	13May12	7Jun12	6Jun13	30Apr14	9Jul14	7Dec14	21Dec14	5Jan15	15Jan15	25Jan15	16Mar15	22Apr15	16May15	11Jun15	9Jul15	27Jul15
weight	270	272	270	284	279.4	286	275.6	270.6	273.6	272			270.8	279	282	285
neck	18	17.5	16.5	16.5	16.5	16.75	16	16	16	16.5	16	16.5	16.5	16.25	16.25	16.25
chest				44	41.5	43	43.5	42	42.5	42.5	42.3	41	41.5	42.25	43.25	42.75
navel	49	48.5	46.75	50	46.75	49.75	48.15	47.75	48	46.5	46	46.5	45.75	46.5	48	50.75/49.25
waist	46.5	48	43.5		45			46.5
hips	54	52.5	52	53	50	52.5	51.75	50.5	51	51	50.5	50.25	50	51.25	52	51.5
thigh									31.5	30.5	28.8	29	28.75	29.25	29.5	29.75
caliper chest											28	30	26	26	34	38
caliper abs											34	36	32	34	42	44
caliper thigh											34	30	30	32	34	40

Jan2010	May2014	July2014	19Jan2015	2Feb15	27Jul15

For a comparison with the last pics - here are the same two pics but with my stomach "sucked in"

W1D1

I have been wanting to restart my workout program for about 4 months.  I've been depressed, anxious, and a few other feelings that come from PTSD.  I know that this push isn't going to stop and I've been  a little reluctant to start up the workout cycles again.

On July 4th, 2015 I decided that would be my Independence Day against PTSD.  It's not that PTSD won't be with me; just that I'm tired of not doing the things I want to b/c I'm depressed or anxious or generally suffering with PTSD.  I've decided that this means I must eat better and workout.  My memory is really bad.  My focus is almost nonexistent.  My temper is quicker (not as bad as it used to be when I first came back).  My depression comes and goes but it seems like the waves of depression are bigger swells than the dips are into non-depression.  I'm not suicidal, just depressed (tired all of the time, lack of interest in things, etc)... and this depression isn't even close to as bad as my depression was in the past (pre 2009)... I'd call it more like "I need to eat ice cream by the pint".  It's probably unfair to blame it all on PTSD.  There's a lot of the depression and those feelings including focus and memory that I am very sure (but haven't proven) are weight and diet related.  There are studies that show working out decreases depression.  I'm pretty sure not weighing as much would decrease depression as well b/c I wouldn't feel as worthless b/c every time I look in the mirror I see someone who isn't worth much... including keeping in a shape that I'd be happy with.  Don't get me wrong my motivation for this is to be healthier and happier.  I am saying that I think my depression is part PTSD, weight, and diet... not exclusively one of those three.

The Plan
Workouts
I'm going back to the Pull Up Program and Feel Good Full Body Workouts 6 days a week.  I really enjoyed them and they were done in 30 mins or less.

I'm adding some hourly workouts too so I can get away from my desk for 5 minutes.  I liked these a lot as well and will include pullups, incline planks, incline press, dips, jump and hold.  Eventually, those will morph into hand stand pushups, planche pushups, etc.  For now, just don't them once an hour or every other hour will be more than enough.

I'm also adding a stationary bike to my day.  I have one status call that lasts at least an hour 4 days a week.  While I'm on those calls I'm going to ride the stationary bike (a regular bike on a mag trainer).  All of my conference calls will eventually be done while riding this bike.

I'm also going to start taking my mountain bike out more than once a week.  I usually ride with the kids on Wed afternoons and every other Fri afternoon.  I'm thinking about adding a Monday eve.  When I can't go out (b/c of weather like ice) I'm going to use the elliptical on the hardest setting.

I'm also talking with my wife about my designs for a climbing wall/American Ninja Warrior gym for the backyard (b/c she won't let me build a climbing wall in my office).  It's a good design.  I can't build it so I'm going to have to find someone who can and can do it fairly cheap.

Eating
I have struggled with food.  Not because I like eating.  I actually hate eating.  I eat b/c it makes me feel good... until I'm done then I don't feel as good.  It's like an addiction.  I get the high then come down from the high and it feels like crap then I eat again.  I'm against diets.  I don't want a temporarily uncomfortable way of doing things that gets results that won't last.  I want a comfortable way of doing things that gets results (even if slower) and do last - there's no "done with this diet" - I want something I can do and continue to do and like to do.  You would think as much as I like bacon I'd eat it all of the time, but I don't.  I actually don't eat many foods that aren't good for me.  The biggest downfall in my daily eats is the soda (currently it's Dr Pepper).  I haven't had a Coke since March... so I accomplished that goal.

I liked juicing because it was simple.  I knew exactly what I was going to eat during the day and when.  No questions, no figuring it out, no wasted time... just do it, 2 mins later it's done and I'm back to doing other stuff.  I also liked the fact that it tasted great and that helped me cut Coke.

I bought Christmas Abbotts Badass Body Diet book when it came out.  I like how she writes.  I also like the simplicity.  I like it a lot.  I got worried because the book is geared towards women then at the end there's a section on adjusting the book for men.  I've decided to follow this way because it's simple, I can eat the foods I like, and it doesn't feel restrictive in terms of "eat only rice cakes" or "pineapple only diet" or whatever.  I have a list of foods that I like to eat that match what she recommends... and there are a lot of them... bacon is not on the list, but I think a couple of slices after the first 21 days will be ok here and there :)

Chronicles
I will be journaling this journey as well.  I've managed to login to MyFitnessPal for 216 days already.  When that number hits 579-580 (July 4, 2016)  I'd like to be documenting a full year of workouts and big success.

This is about slow and steady.  I'm going to correct the mistakes I usually make where I add a bunch of stuff and excuse certain foods b/c I've been doing well.  I need to regain my brain and body.  I'm hoping that I'll see big improvements over the next 15-90 days to start with.

4 months off

Four months ago I ended 60 days of juicing and felt fantastic.  I vowed not to go back to the 280s.  Three months ago I took a trip with my wife to Memphis.  I had a sip of my first Coke in 90 days and I hated it.  While there, I had a Dr Pepper, it was ok.  When we returned from Memphis I still wasn't drinking any soda regularly (the two or so in Memphis was it), but I was eating out more.  Not bad, I went from not eating out at all to eating out 3 meals a week and went from 260 to 265 or so, but stayed steady at that weight.  About a month ago, I had gone up to 272-276.  Most of this was bad diet and just crap in my intestines.  I still feel like someone at 260 which is a great thing.  My weight went from 272 average to 279 in the last three weeks when I went from not drinking any soda to drinking Dr Pepper exclusively.  When I get stressed out this is what happens.  I know it, but I didn't prevent it.  I did well to avoid it for 3 months.

Because of my "downward spiral" I decided to look back at the last 3 years of workouts and breaks between.  Almost all of my workouts go 60 days then 90-120 days off.  I don't know why that is.  I know that each time I get stressed I quit working out and quit eating right.  In this case, I stopped working out and eating healthy for the first month I just didn't workout.  The second month I didn't workout and I didn't eat better.  The reason for the first month was just the exhaustion of 60days of workouts and juice.  The 2nd month was just depression and lack of interest in continuing, but motivated by not wanting to get bigger again.  The 3rd month I just maintained and was still depressed.  This last month was a ton of stress.

After looking at my workouts I've realized how it is that after 60 days I don't want to workout anymore.  After reviewing the workouts they start manageable then get ambitious.  When the workouts start off they're 30 minutes or less and easy enough to take time away from my day without feeling like I'm not going to be too stressed about not being at work.  I don't take lunches b/c I'm afraid that I'll not complete something and someone will be upset when in reality I need to take more breaks to get more done.  The paradoxical effect of working more with less breaks gets less done.

What I've learned is that I need to plan my workouts so they're not early in the morning, but best about 7am for walking or biking.  My best weight workouts are at lunch time.  Any other times I don't make the time.  I have way too much going on of my own design and I don't make time for myself.  If you read other blog entries you'll read this about me a lot.  I get stressed out and focus on other stuff that is what I really need to be taking a break from.  So the real goal *should* be to put together a sustainable workout and meal plan; one that I won't be giving up in 60 days, but will continue over the next year to accomplish my other goals.

So, with this round of workouts the goal is to drop the weight and size like before but as a terciary goal.  My primary goal is still going to be to do a pullup and I have a plan again.  My 2ndary goal is going to be to not stop working out after 60 days.

Here are some images from My Fitness Pal showing trends over the last 6 months.

Two months off

Two months ago I didn't intend to take a long break from workouts.  When life gets in my way, my workouts and diet go out the window.  In this case I had just finished 60 days of juicing and felt great.  I'm ready to get back to workouts, however, a month ago I wanted to see what would happen if I just kind of ate well for a month then crappy for another month.

Within a week or so of stopping juicing my weight went from 260 to 268 or so and has hovered there for the last two months.  Today, after a few days of pain following a motorcycle crash (ok I hit some gravel and slid on my side a short distance) I've gone from 268 to 276 - following my intestinal cycle, I'll probably lose that over the next couple of days (just a little constipated).

measurement location	16Mar15	22Apr15
neck	16	16.5
waist	46	46.5
hips	50.5	50.25
chest	42.3	41
thighs	28.8	29
caliper chest	28	30
caliper abs	34	36
caliper thigh	34	30

Other than my weight you can see there isn't too much of a difference in size.  The most important part to me isn't physical.  I'd love to be at 260 b/c I think I feel better there but that's probably bc I ate much better getting to 260.  However, I saw the scale at 276 this morning and didn't freak out.  I still see myself as weighing 260 I've just added a couple pounds that will come off easily.  That's a completely different thought process than "I weigh 276 and I'll never make it to 260".  That's a huge win for me.

Experiment over.  I've accomplished what I wanted and found out the answers that I needed to know.  I still fit into my clothes that I did (my jeans are slightly tighter, but I'm essentially the same size as I was 2 months ago and that's encouraging.  I didn't balloon back up to 286 and look like I weigh 286 - that's all good stuff for me.

So what are my next steps?  Well, I started Sunday by getting back to a "normal" diet for me which is now water 10-12x a day, whole foods (mostly vegetables and less meat), and some juices (occasional v8).  I'll be spending the rest of this week getting my body adjusted and hydrating my intestines to get things flowing correctly again.

Starting Monday, I'll be doing two different workouts through the day.  My wife challenged me to: 333 squats, 333 pushups, 333 crunches each day (approx 10000 over 30 days).  I've still got my workout which is 5 pullups, 3x10s plank, 8 incline presses, 15 dips, 5x5s jump and hold, 15 hanging leg raises, 25 jumpropes -- which I'll do every hour for 8-9 hours a day.

Each hour a day for 8-12 hours:

27-41 squats

27-41 crunches

27-41 pushups

5 pullups

3x10s plank

8 incline presses

15 dips

5x5s jump and hold

15 hanging leg raises

10-25 jump ropes

This should give me about 5-10 minutes of workout every hour.  If I have to drop anything it'll be the crunches and pushups, but we'll see how this goes.  My focus is still the last 7 exercises not the first 3.  My overall goal is 40-60 minutes of workout through the day.