My weight journey: February 2015

Friday, February 13, 2015

W6D5

I haven't done very well blogging my status since I quit juicing. My weight has gone up a bit and seems stuck between 265 and 267 right now. That's probably about normal considering I probably eat 4 pounds of food a day, but it's still a bit of a bummer which also means that I've not been as interested in pushing b/c I feel like I've hit some sort of plateau.

I'm eating about 1000 calories a day and working out about an hour a day - but I still feel like i'm stuck at 265-267 when I should be 259; and that's messing me up pretty bad. It shouldn't, but it does.

I'm insanely hungry right now - and extremely tired.

I had a horrific night last night where all of the energy I was directing at writing came crashing into no energy, no drive, and no will to push forward. I'm done. I've been done once before where I was broken to the point that I didn't care anymore. I'm there again after 5-6 years. I've been trudging along hauling the world like Atlas climbing a mountain. People keep packing it on top. Until last night, when I dropped nearly everything. I was so tired and done last night that if I could've figured out a way to have a moving company show up and pack everything I have to put into storage I would've done that and moved out last night. Moving forward doesn't seem to help me out; and carrying everyone else doesn't help me out. I don't want to do it anymore. I will, but I don't want to. I would rather sell everything I have and take my car and drive to some place like the Florida Keys, sell my car, then fly to the Grand Cayman and live on a beach collecting cans daily to pay for food or massaging feet of tourists to pay for the alcohol i'd need to consume to forget about everything. For the first time in many years I not only wanted to go back to Iraq, but I tried to figure out a way to do it. It's crazy, to me, how much I miss a place I never wanted to call home; it's more real to me than where I'm at in life now.

I'm just done. I want to quit. I remember wanting to quit before - AIT and BCT. All I had to do was say I wasn't going to keep going and I could've done anything else. I wouldn't have been proud of myself, but I wouldn't have been doing the 15 mile runs or the massive sprint and running drills that I was sure were going to kill me at 5 am after the run. I just wanted to stop. At least with BCT and AIT there was an end date - something that said "after this you're free". I don't have that end date right now. There's nothing driving me forward except my kids and even then I can't give them or make everything that I want to with them. I'm driving deeper into depression that until last night I hadn't seen in weeks or months. I hate that my creativity phase where I get fully involved and sprint in my project (usually writing or filming) has gotten interrupted only 4 days in. I'm so depressed that I don't want to write at all. I'm quite lost at the moment. I spend so much time doing things to make other people happy and appease others and holding everything together - it's times like this that I just want most of it to go away. I want all of the stuff I didn't ask for to go away I'm tired of holding it all together.

In not so depressing news, my last workouts I have been pushing harder than before. I feel like the workouts are great, but even then I'm hitting a point where I don't want to workout - so I'm going to force myself to workout and push through.

Monday, February 9, 2015

W6D1

I officially quit juicing last week. I did the full 60 days.

Saturday I weighed in for the last time during the juicing weeks. My weight hit a low of 260.8. I was ecstatic that was a good start to the rest of the work I need to do. 24+ pounds in 60ish days and more than 30 pounds in the last year (so far). I celebrated with waffles and bacon for breakfast; then dinner was a quesadilla and some shrimp parmesan on penne pasta.

Today I begin week 6 of workouts. I'm changing up my workouts a bit. I want to see what I can do daily when I push myself. While juicing I was running out of energy about half way through the longer 60-90 minute workouts so I'd get done with the 30-45 min workout and be exhausted.

Also starting today I'm adjusting my diet to not be so juice centric and instead focus on solids. Mostly, that means instead of juicing 6x a day I'll be eating many of the same solid foods to achieve the same goals. Examples are eggs, bacon, and an apple for breakfast; midmorning apple and veggie protein with BCAAS; lunch swai and probably carrots; midafternoon apple and coconut water; and dinner swai or cod an ounce of cheese and a cup of baked cauliflower.

PullUp (1x)
Pullup 5x
incline plank 2x10s
incline press 8
dips 15
jump and hold 5x5s

Abs (1x)
hinge 15
suspended crunch 15
mtn climber 15
sanding body crunch 15
hanging leg raise 15

Feel Great Full Body Workout (Upper) 3x
Chest press 20-25
Jumping Jacks 50
Tricep press 20-25
Jump Rope 50
Mid back row 20-25
Biceps Curl (L3) 20-25

I took about 3 minutes between the upper body workouts and clocked in at 50 minutes today. I still want to do a 2nd PullUp and Abs workout and then do 2-5 mins each of jump rope and jumping jacks.

I didn't run out of energy today until the very end, but my arms feel like jello. I know I would "like" to do a workout first thing in the morning in a fasted state, but I'm not sure I can get my body to comply with getting out of bed at 7. We'll have to see. That would get my noon workout out of the way and free up that time to do a little extra workout or work on other stuff and not be stressed about not getting my workout done during work hours. It would also free up time that I could meet others for an occasional lunch.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

W9J3 - W5D3 (W3D0)

Today has been a very weird day. I woke up this morning and weighed in at 264 (YAY!) and taped myself and lost some more size.

I started to workout and while doing my inverted pushups I developed a nosebleed so I stopped. I then attempted to finish the workout I started and was too exhausted to continue.

My energy by the end of the day is completely used up. I'm only getting about 900 calories and expending far more than that during my workouts.

I think for the next few weeks I'm going to switch up my routines. I'm dropping TRX Force. I could either do TRX Force or the other workouts I set up, but I can't do all of them. The other workouts get me going and I like them more than TRX Force. I'd like to continue doing TRX Force, but I don't know of any way to add energy without increasing the foods that I do eat.

So, until further notice I'm bringing back the Feel Good Full Body workout and the Pull Up Program workouts. However, I'm swapping them. MWF will be the Feel Good workouts and TTH will be the Pull Up Program. I'll also continue my preworkout workouts with pullups, inclined planks, handstand pushups, dips, jumpandhold, hinge, suspended crunches, mt climber, standing body crunch, and hanging leg raises. I like all of those exercises much better and seem more adept at being able to accomplish the sets.

Here's to a lighter tomorrow. I have 2 days left (til Friday am) to reach 260 pounds (arbitrary goal - 261-262 will make me just as happy). After that, I'll figure out if I'm going to continue to juice or if I'm going to do smoothies or something else.

photo time

I thought it was time to update the photos. I've been juicing for 43 days and no coke for 44 days. I have noticed a lot of difference in my size, now it's time to see what that size looks like.

I copied the last post about photos with comparisons so I could put all of these side-by-side with todays.

Previous picture comparisons
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2012/06/old-pictures.html
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2014/05/picture-comparisons.html
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2014/07/photos.html