W22D0 - BABC

I have not been doing so well with anything related to eating or working out.  I quit eating all candy stuff Sunday evening.  I was eating and craving a ton of chocolate, peanutbutter, and sweet tart chewy rolls... it was insane.  I have not had a soda since sept 24thish so I'm nearing 3 months without a soda.  I think if I have one that'll be the end of me b/c I won't stop.

I need to figure out how to get rid of this guilt that I have about Iraq.  I know what's causing me to sabotage myself, now I just have to fix it.

In any case, this week, I'm doing 30 mins minimum on the stationary bike or 60 mins walking out at the track.  I'm eating closer to my calorie goal instead of eating nothing and then a ton of chocolate.  I've already seen my weight drop from 278.  I don't actually weigh 278, I weigh closer to 268, but I've not been going regularly so things are a bit backed up.  Once that's clear I'll be back on track... shouldn't be more than a day or two.

My goal is to push for the next 7 days b/c the kids are in ATL.  I am hoping that means I'll drop back down to 268 or less.  I really want to push hard until feb 14th (or 16th I can't remember right now) when it'll be 2 years since I was at 297 (though I was at 29?something earlier this year) and I started kicking my ass on a regular basis to get in shape and lose weight.  I'd like to see 240 by February - I don't think that's realistic... I do think I could do it.  I'd be happy with 250.

W21D0 - BABC

This week has been horrible - not to mention that I forgot to write this blog on Sunday.

My measurements were ok, not great, but they hadn't gone up or down much.

I need to punch this in the butt for the next two weeks while I have no kids around.

W20D0 - BABC

This last week was weird.  I had the flu the Friday before and I don't feel like I've recovered, yet.  I just feel like I'm not better - i don't still have the flu, just not better.  I'm exhausted all of the time.  And my intestines always feel full.  To that, my weight has gone up about 2 pounds or so, but my caliper readings have gone down.  My size has stayed the same, for the most part with tape measurements.  I feel good about the caliper measurements.

One year ago today, I started juicing.  It was the best thing I've done for myself.  it showed me that 260 was possible and that not drinking any kind of soda was possible.  If I had stuck with juicing completely instead of adding more foods I would've been much more successful than I was.

So now, one year later, I've lost 30 pounds or so and need to get past my mental block of 260.  I don't know why I'm holding myself back from losing the weight - it doesn't make sense to me, but I am.

So, this week, I'm going to push my hardest on a stationary bike and with food to drop that last 9-11 pounds to get down to 259 - once i'm at 259 then I set another goal of 249 and so on.  I have to do this so I can live longer and be happier about myself.  it's long overdue.