W22D0 - BABC

I have not been doing so well with anything related to eating or working out.  I quit eating all candy stuff Sunday evening.  I was eating and craving a ton of chocolate, peanutbutter, and sweet tart chewy rolls... it was insane.  I have not had a soda since sept 24thish so I'm nearing 3 months without a soda.  I think if I have one that'll be the end of me b/c I won't stop.

I need to figure out how to get rid of this guilt that I have about Iraq.  I know what's causing me to sabotage myself, now I just have to fix it.

In any case, this week, I'm doing 30 mins minimum on the stationary bike or 60 mins walking out at the track.  I'm eating closer to my calorie goal instead of eating nothing and then a ton of chocolate.  I've already seen my weight drop from 278.  I don't actually weigh 278, I weigh closer to 268, but I've not been going regularly so things are a bit backed up.  Once that's clear I'll be back on track... shouldn't be more than a day or two.

My goal is to push for the next 7 days b/c the kids are in ATL.  I am hoping that means I'll drop back down to 268 or less.  I really want to push hard until feb 14th (or 16th I can't remember right now) when it'll be 2 years since I was at 297 (though I was at 29?something earlier this year) and I started kicking my ass on a regular basis to get in shape and lose weight.  I'd like to see 240 by February - I don't think that's realistic... I do think I could do it.  I'd be happy with 250.

W21D0 - BABC

This week has been horrible - not to mention that I forgot to write this blog on Sunday.

My measurements were ok, not great, but they hadn't gone up or down much.

I need to punch this in the butt for the next two weeks while I have no kids around.

W20D0 - BABC

This last week was weird.  I had the flu the Friday before and I don't feel like I've recovered, yet.  I just feel like I'm not better - i don't still have the flu, just not better.  I'm exhausted all of the time.  And my intestines always feel full.  To that, my weight has gone up about 2 pounds or so, but my caliper readings have gone down.  My size has stayed the same, for the most part with tape measurements.  I feel good about the caliper measurements.

One year ago today, I started juicing.  It was the best thing I've done for myself.  it showed me that 260 was possible and that not drinking any kind of soda was possible.  If I had stuck with juicing completely instead of adding more foods I would've been much more successful than I was.

So now, one year later, I've lost 30 pounds or so and need to get past my mental block of 260.  I don't know why I'm holding myself back from losing the weight - it doesn't make sense to me, but I am.

So, this week, I'm going to push my hardest on a stationary bike and with food to drop that last 9-11 pounds to get down to 259 - once i'm at 259 then I set another goal of 249 and so on.  I have to do this so I can live longer and be happier about myself.  it's long overdue.

W19D0 - BABC

I did not workout this week like I wanted to.  It was Thanksgiving week and I barely made it out of bed most of the week.  I felt exhausted and run-down and a little burnt out.  I ate like crap Tuesday to Thursday.  Friday I went to Tulsa for the BMX Race of Champions and Grand Nationals.  I got back to the hotel Friday night and had a severe fever and chills and lots of flu-like symptoms.  I'm still not recovered.

I need to get in a lot of working out this week - I'd like to weigh 260 by 7Dec - which is 1 year after I started juicing but 53 weeks after I started logging full-time into myfitnesspal.

W18D0 - BABC

I did ok for this week.  I didn't eat excess and I ate mostly ok.  I didn't follow my eating plan the way I wanted to and I didn't workout.  I don't know why I was exhausted all of this week, but I was.

My measurements are down in some areas.  There is fluctuation in others (some is how I measure with the calipers).  I'm very happy with how it's going down.  I'd like to get to 260 or lower in the next 10 days.  In 10 days I'll have logged in to myfitnesspal for 365 days.  Now, next Friday, Sat, and Sunday I'll be at the BMX races in Tulsa so I don't know how well I'm going to do with eating, etc.  I need to plan that, this week, so I can take food with me and just get the boy food.  So we'll see how that all goes.  I will probably workout m-th and then take f,s, and sun off for the races.  My weight has remained the same despite getting smaller in some areas.  That tells me that if I eat correctly, and drink plenty of water then I can drop below 260 by the 365th day of logging in to myfitnesspal - Then by May of next year I'd like to weigh 200 or less.  After I've lost weight, I think then I'll go back to doing workouts like the TRX.  I *might* start doing 2 or 3 days a week of TRX workouts - the 30 min workouts I have.  I don't want to get into working out a lot b/c I get frustrated at starting over and right now I'm having a problem getting to do 30-60 min of walking or stationary bike riding.  I know it'll be easier; right now, I'm just so tired it's hard to imagine it getting a lot easier, you know?

All-in-all I'm happy with my progression.  I wish I'd stayed 260 from mid February and built off of that, however, getting down to this weight (268) slowly is better and staying off longer.  I may do an all out push this week and try to knock myself down to 259 -- that'd be glorious.

W17D1 - BABC

Well, it's taken all of last week to get back to where I was from the week before.  I had multiple vet lunches and dinners with people.  I ate bad for 5 days or so.  I still haven't given in to a soda - I'm quite happy with that.  However, last week was a downer for me.  I went from 268 on the 6th to 278 by the 12th.  I knew most of that was just the food I was eating b/c my measurements hadn't gone up - that was the only reason I didn't fall back and hit a "fk this sht if I can't do it then i'm just gonna be fat" kind of depression.  However, I didn't workout at all last week.  I did try on some of the tshirts I have bought over the last year and a half and many of the XLs fit pretty well now.  I also hit a point Friday morning where I was sure I was going to die.  I had something hit me hard - then it went away by about 3 friday afternoon.  I thought it was going to come back last night, but this morning I woke up feeling great.  it could've been allergens (Friday mold was really high).  i'm going to attribute it to eating all of that processed food last week.

This weekend, I got back to eating the way I planned and I feel much better today.

I have a goal to do at least 30 mins on the stationary bike or elliptical each day this week.  I'd rather walk out at OTC for an hour, but today and tomorrow look like rain is coming so maybe wed, thurs, fri I'll walk.

Week 16D0 - BABC

this last week I've eaten out twice - once at an all you can eat japanese buffet (I cleaned them out) and the second at a pizza place.  Both were planned events.  Tonight I'm going to a BBQ.  All-in-all, I'm down to 268 (2 pounds for the week) - total weight loss since Feb 14 is 29 pounds (started at 297+).  And total weight loss in the last two months is on track at 18 pounds.  I hope to see 260 in the next week, but it may take until dec 1st.

I put in my measurements and I'm at 28% bodyfat - that's down from 36% since dec of last year.  My waist has gotten even smaller AND I found out that I have baggy skin on my knees - different, but not like saggy skin lol.

overall, measurements have dropped steadily - the most noticeable were the caliper measurements that dropped by quite a bit this last week.

I feel really good.  Still pushing about 1200 calories a day, walked 3 times this week - didn't get as much exercise in as I wanted to - and I drink about a gallon of water a day.  Still no soda since Sep 23rd when I had the final 20oz Dr Pepper for breakfast.

W15D0 - BABC

This last week went really well. I did eat processed foods Fri nite and Sat night... I had Sonic Grilled Chicken sandwich an A1 steak burger thing at BK and a reeses peanut butter cup pie (the first sugar like that I've had since sept) I'm still restricting my intake to 1200 a day - though, I did go over one day. I got zero walks in last week, though I did get a couple of bike rides in and yesterday I played hockey (on inline skates) with lucas for about a half hour. My "fatboy" underwear just fall off now and my 44 pants that were tight a couple weeks ago are now pretty loose. I used to want to lose weight fast, bc I'm fn impatient. Losing 2-3 pounds a week is ok with me now, b/c being fat is killing me slowly - so instead of making a bunch of big progress and then gaining it back, I'm ok with losing it as slowly as I gained it. I am going to ramp up my exercise this month and make it a priority every day instead of whenever. My only goal is 260 by Dec 1 - I was hoping to see 260 by next Sunday. I do not see that happening, and I'm not disappointed about it.

W14D0 - BABC

This last week was semi-great.  I ate really well.  I only got two walks in, but they felt great.

As you can see I've dropped a little more size.  I'm excited to drop the size.

W13D2 - BABC

This last week has been fantastic.  As a matter of fact, the last, almost, 4 weeks have been fantastic.  I quit drinking all sodas.  I've only had water save a few grape powerades... and by a few I literally mean 3.  I haven't even had a juice.  My eating has been almost perfect as well.  I've had one mcdonalds hamburger and a handful of fries.  That was b/c I forgot to order grilled chicken.  The fries were horrible, BTW.  Everything else I've eaten I knew exactly where it came from b/c I made it.

23Sept I bought two 16 oz Dr Peppers.  I had one about lunch and the other I kept in my car until a few days ago.  My wife drank half of it Sunday.

Alright, enough of that.  For the last few weeks I've been starting work at 5am and finishing about 1pm.  Starting last week, I go straight from the house to the track and walk for at least an hour.  My goal was one hour or 5 miles; whichever I felt like.  I walked 4 days last week and took Friday off b/c I picked up the kids from a half day of school.  I also didn't walk yesterday b/c the kids were out of school, but I did play street hockey with my son for a bit.  I managed 4 miles in 70 min (or about 3.5mph).

Last week's numbers:
12Oct 2.65mi 18:47/mi total time 49:42
13Oct 3.03mi  18:57/mi total time 57:22 6657steps
14Oct 5.32mi 19:45/mi total time 1:45 11693steps
15Oct 3.0 mi 19:15/mi total time 57:42 6593steps
20Oct 4.0 mi 17:45/mi total time 1:10:57 8790steps

I am loving those numbers and loving the improvement.

W13D0

This was a good week for my weight, workout, eating, and size - not a good week for finances.

I saw a low of 274 this week (probably will again tomorrow - I go through a couple day weight gain then a drop).

My workout this week has been walking for at least an hour (about 3 miles on the OTC trail here in Ozark). I'm on London time for a while so I am off work at 1 and start walking. Then I get other stuff around the house done until the kids get home and then it's racing for all of the kids events.

In the last month I've lost an inch off my chest, an 1.25" off my belly, 1.5" off my butt, and 1.25" off my thighs. My caliper measurements are even showing losses - woot!

It's now been 3 1/2 weeks since I had any soda and I had pizza last night and even had some ice cream last night.

I feel really good. My body doesn't ache. My intestines don't feel bad. My pants are falling off again. Yesterday, I found that one pair of pants had a hole start in them. I found a pair of 44s in my closet and thought I wouldn't fit into them. I did, with room to spare.

W12D0

Another great week.  Hit another low weight at 277.

I've not had a soda since sept 23rd (+/- 19 days) and I haven't eaten anything from a restaurant or drive thru (save some burgers at the hockey game) either. I've been much better about planning when i'll eat if i'm out of the house. I've also stuck with my eating plan (which isn't like a diet, I could eat this same way for pretty much ever). I'm also drinking between 8 and 16 glasses of water a day. I did have a donut hole yesterday and it tasted like crap b/c I've not had sugar like that since I gave up soda.

That has meant a drop from 284 to 277. It's also meant some additional size drops of about 1/4 inch off my belly and butt. I don't like slow - however, I'd rather do it this way, than fast and regain. I'd also like to continue on the road down to 180ish.

W11D2

I forgot to post this on Sunday.  I was wrapped up with everything going on from a great Friday and Saturday of "wind therapy."

I'm happy with my progress.  It's not as fast as I'd like, however, I'm also not working out.  I weighed myself Friday night b/c I was pretty excited to be 278 again.  Saturday morning I weighed 277.8 so I was even more excited.

I still have not come around to workout.  I've switched my work schedule to more London time this last week and a half or so.  That has freed up my afternoons for other stuff I've wanted to get done, but haven't had the time for with evenings so rushed.

I think tomorrow, I'll go out to the OTC campus and walk or ride the track for 5miles - that's 4 laps around.  I can do that in about an hour and 15 mins.  I may also do the Feel Good Full Body workout since I'll have time.  Finishing work at 1pm gives me an average of 3.5 hours to get my workout in and do stuff I wouldn't normally be able to get done.

Last note, I've not had a soda since the 23rd of September.  I ate some biscuits and gravy Saturday and I had eaten out Monday at Which Wich and at the Gold Cup Finals I had some hamburger buns and 2 Grape PowerAids.  Everything else has been according to the Bad Ass Body Diet and I've felt great.  Pre-note, tomorrow I'm having pizza with an old friend of mine.

I'll figure out tomorrow's plan.  Each day will get a little faster as I don't have to stop and take breaks in between reps.  So we'll see what happens.

EDIT: well google docs for this is gone.  I'll have to wire up another one.

W10D2 - BABC

I made it below 280 (279.4 to be exact) for the first time since July 26th...which is when i started hitting the Dr Pepper pretty hard.

Sometime in May is when I started eating foods that I shouldn't have - so I went from 264ish to 279 from May1st or so to July 20th and then stayed there for a week before shooting up to 285 and eventually topped out a couple of weeks ago at 290.  The heaviest I've ever been was 297.4 February 16, 2014

Here's what I've done the last week or so.  I've quit almost all processed foods.  I haven't had a soda since last Wednesday.  I had the two Powerades this weekend and the hamburger buns.  Outside of that, I haven't had anything processed (read: fast food).  I've also cut my intake down to 1200 cal a day or so - I don't fret if it's 1500 or 1700 I just do my best to stick to 1200ish.  One other change I've made is that I attempt to get about 100g of protein a day.  I have a lot of almonds, peanuts, and cashews around - I also eat hamburger patties, chicken, tuna, and sometimes I have a vegan protein shake (I bought a bunch in bulk months ago real cheap).  I also take a fiber supplement from Arbonne to make sure I don't have digestive issues (due to anxiety not diet - which is going away).

I have not gotten into exercising, yet.  Somehow I've convinced myself that it hurts a lot when I workout.  I don't know what that's about - sounds like I need to adjust my self-hypnosis script.

It's weird how I feel great today at 279 when I didn't feel great a few days ago at 284+ - these imaginary goals we set that make us feel better.

All of that said it's been 10 weeks since I started this current struggle (it's been 3+ years since I've been blogging my journey) - and it's been 5 weeks since I've worked out more than once a week.  I've made excuses like my car getting rear ended made it so I can't go to OTC and ride my bike (yet there's a perfectly good set of pavement in front of my house - somehow that's embarrassing though) and I no longer have the 1 hour phone calls so I don't ride my stationary bike daily.  Idk what's going on with the TRX workouts.  I love them; something is going on in my brain that it takes too long to workout or something.  I'm not sure what the hell there.  I need to evaluate that too.  I think it's that goals seem unattainable when you're not moving in the right direction.  When the scale and calipers are going in the wrong direction but you're working out and can do 30 minutes of a workout the only thing you remember is that you are bigger not that you accomplished something that you couldn't do a month or even a week ago.  idk.  Anyone else have insight on this effect?  In any case, I feel better after jumping below 280 and feel like I should just focus on staying healthy through foods right now and a desire for a workout routine will come back soon.  I'm impatient which is ironic considering that I said i've been blogging about this for over 3 years.

W10D0 - BABC

This week was pretty good.  Not great for working out (I managed one solitary stationary bike ride).  However, for food, it was very good.

I decided to alter my self-hypnosis session.  I kept telling myself "I want to workout" or "I want to eat better" instead of "I will workout daily" and "I do not drink soda"

All of that resulted in four days no soda and I've been eating almost 100% correctly.  I had 2 powerades - I didn't think they had HFCS in them until I read the label :( - I also had some hamburger buns.  Not my best, but very good stuff.

The results are down to 281ish... so I'm back down from 290 about 1.5 weeks ago.

I'm starting a different daily routine this week.  I'm going to have to get up to work at 5 or so, so I'll be done with work by early afternoon.  I will then go workout after work as I'll have 2.5 hours after work before kids get home so I can go to OTC and ride my bike or walk.  I'm looking forward to this next week.

W9D0 - BABC

This last week has been a bit crazy.  I think I got in one bike ride and that may be about it.  The conference calls I'm on only last 7-15 minutes and I don't even have long enough to figuratively catch my breath before it's my turn to give my standup and then catch my breath again and the call is done.  That's nice, it also means I need to work in my workout in other ways.

This week is going to be focusing on getting in the exercise.  I'm not going to rush it, not gonna push it.  I'm going to just do it.  The last two weeks have sucked b/c I wanted to ride out at the track, but my car was dinged pretty good so I can't haul bikes until after it's fixed this week.  So, I need to either ride stationary or do some walking.  I'd like to get in 5 miles of bike riding a day or 3-5 miles of walking a day.  I want to limit the time to < 60 minutes - however, I'm aware that for 5 miles biking I may have to go up to 80 minutes at first.  We'll have to see.  The trail I ride is half uphill and half downhill and the uphill part kicks my butt every time.

I have changed my measurements tracking to be a gdoc spreadsheet - I got tired of copying and pasting the html and adding a new column - which all seemed like a waste of time to do when I could just put it in a spreadsheet and bam! instant awesome.

W8D0 - BABC

Well, what can I say?  Last week was horrific.  One blog entry and that was on Sunday - then nothing else.  Some measurements are the same, some are bigger.  It's been horrible.  I feel the backslide. This is all part of the therapy process - my brain is resisting change... it'll happen this week.

Last week, I saw a Hypnotist for some issues.  I've helped others with hypnosis and now was the time to do so for myself.  It worked wonders.  I had intense anxiety about some different events over the weekend - I was able to reduce that anxiety to almost nothing and by the time I had finished with my anchors the anxiety was completely gone.

This week, I'm working on those issues that arose b/c I was focused on one set of issues last week and seem to have dropped the other issues I also needed help with but didn't deal with.

	27Jul15	17Aug15	23Aug15	6Sep15	14Sep15
weight	285	282	283	285	287
neck	16.25	16.25	16.5	16.25	16.25
chest	42.75	42	43	42	43
navel	50.75/49.25	47.5	47.5	47	47.75
waist
hips	51.5	51.75	51.5	51.5	51.5
thigh	29.75	28.75	29.25	29	29.5
caliper chest	38	38	38	40	42
caliper abs	44	42	42	38	44
caliper thigh	40	36	38	38	42

W7D0 - BABC

I did ok last week.  Not great; just ok.

I looked at the heading for this series I've started.  7 weeks!  And nothing to show for it.  SEVEN WEEKS and nothing to show for it - not a pound lighter, not an inch smaller (I don't think - also reminds me today is measurements day).

I'm disappointed in myself.  7 weeks ago I intended to do so much more.  Each day comes along and I don't.  I feel like I'm going to look back when I'm 60 and not have done anything I wanted to... I'm very upset with myself.

This week I have an appointment with a CHT.  I'm excited b/c the last time I worked with a CHT I quit smoking.  This time, I want to get rid of my anxiety in all of my life and not care what others think of me and doing so should increase my focus and concentration as well as allow me to lose weight by enabling me to just do it.  Right now, I'm so paralyzed by fear in my own life that I don't do the things I should.

I'm going to cut my workouts down b/c I'm not getting anything done.  I'm going to ride a bike for 30 minutes and do the PUP.  I'm not going to worry about Cize right now - if I have the time during the day then I'll do Cize.

	27Jul15	17Aug15	23Aug15	6Sep15
weight	285	282	283	285
neck	16.25	16.25	16.5	16.25
chest	42.75	42	43	42
navel	50.75/49.25	47.5	47.5	47
waist
hips	51.5	51.75	51.5	51.5
thigh	29.75	28.75	29.25	29
caliper chest	38	38	38	40
caliper abs	44	42	42	38
caliper thigh	40	36	38	38

W6D3 - BABC

Well today was f'crazy.  I ate well.  I had a pop tart and 2 dr peppers.  I have immense cravings.  I am a sugar addict.  I don't want sugar to taste bad (if I go for hypnosis for it) - what I want is to just not crave it - oh and I had a quesadilla - which was more just a single burrito flour with cheese in it... so it's loosely qualified as a quesadilla.

I didn't sleep worth a shit last night - I have a sleep app called 'sleep cycle' which is wonderful and measures my sleep - I didn't sleep until almost 2:45 this morning.  I was so tired today and just didn't want to move.  I didn't want to exercise - I barely wanted to stay awake.  I promised Lucas that we'd go ride the southern greenway in springfield over by "my old house" - the last time we rode that greenway was about 6 years ago - he was sooo tiny.  I wanted to just not do it and then do it Friday sometime when they come over for the day.  I sucked it up and Lucas and I spent an hour riding that greenway.  I was happy with it and felt great about it.  I'm glad I did it.  I wish I'd still done the TRX workout for the day and cize... however, I'm not too disappointed - I'm ok that I didn't get them - I would've really liked to; in the future, I will be able to do them all without a problem and I'm ok with that.  The fact that I sucked it up and did what I needed to at the end is good.  Each time I workout means that's one more day closer to craving workouts and not craving sugar.

I did also put together some checklists for the weeks and the calendar.  So I can keep my pages down on my desk clipboard and be able to track my reps, sets, circuits, etc.

I'm tired and my butt hurts from riding so much.

W6D2 - BABC

Yesterday was good-sucked.  The day, overall, was great.  The day, workingout, was shit.

I've decided not to delay the workout today.  I'm heading down to ride the bike while doing my professional development (I can read and watch example videos while I ride).  At noon, I'm punching the TRX in the face.

30 min bike ride while reading about AngularJS - check
TRX Feelgood Full Body Workout - check
Cize - check

Today was an fn good day!  I am having a dr pepper to celebrate - I know, ironic.

I learned one thing from Cize - I can't dance; and to prove it I recorded the first 10 minutes... it was bad; so bad, in fact, that I started laughing during the workout.  Shaun-T makes it look easy; I make it look like it's hard.  The workout was enjoyable though - the time flew by.

I feel accomplished today.  I completed a lot of workout.  I ate very well.  I've already showered.

W6D1 - BABC

I had an extremely crappy week.  Below is a repost I wrote in a support group of friends.

"I got tired of having these old Army shorts and using regular tshirts to workout in. The shorts were a bit too small (read: nuthuggers) when they used to be regular shorts (you know, back when I was 200 pounds lol). And I've ruined a bunch of tshirts bc I've worked out in them.

I bought 8 pairs of bcg mesh shorts (3XL) and 5 bcg moisture wicking shirts (XL) that I love to workout in b/c they're comfortable. So, for the first time since Iraq I have dedicated workout clothes that fit correctly and I spent 78 bucks (that I barely had).

In other news, this week has sucked ass. I have managed to get one workout in and that was Monday morning. Monday afternoon I took a half day and drove Lucas to the other side of Tulsa for a BMX racing camp and drove back. Tuesday, I started a new project and was so exhausted I didn't even attempt a workout then went to BMX racing that night. Yesterday, I didn't get in my bike ride. I had changed into workout clothes and was adjusting my skates when I got a call that my dad broke his leg at the nursing home so I changed and rode down there another half day gone. I've not eaten how I wanted. I've not worked out the way I've wanted. This week has sucked. I'm getting ready to bake my skates (actually using a hair dryer) to make them fit a bit better. Then, I'm going downstairs for my scheduled workout.

This week, I've learned that I need to get all of my meals ready for the day either that day or the day before and make sure they're available so if I need to run off then I can still take them with me - they're pretty easy to do and don't need to be refrigerated so I have no excuses. I also need to make sure that if I can't do my workout as planned that I have a backup plan for a workout. For example, when Lucas was at the BMX camp on Monday I could've strung my TRX up to my car or something.

over the last 5 weeks, I have noticed that even riding the bike 30 minutes a day 5x a week has improved my brain function (not concentration, yet) - so my brain is more active than it was - not remembering more, nor concentration/focusing more, but very active."

	27Jul15	17Aug15	31Aug15
weight	285	282	287
neck	16.25	16.25	16.5
chest	42.75	42	42.25
navel	50.75/49.25	47.5	49.5/47.5
waist
hips	51.5	51.75	52
thigh	29.75	28.75	29.5
caliper chest	38	38	40
caliper abs	44	42	42-44
caliper thigh	40	36	40

My current weight has gone up - and I'm going to tell you it's for 1 reason and 1 reason only... I've not been eating correctly.  This last week I stuck to absolutely none of my times nor plans.  This week, I'm sticking to them all.

I recorded my first videos this morning.  One was me attempting a pull up; the second was a 15 min intro to what I'm doing and why.  I will have to store and catalog this footage so I can make sure to accomplish my goal.

Ok, today went ok - not great, just ok.  I managed to get in a ton of water today.  I ate the way I intended.  I got in my 1-5 minute workout every hour.  I had nothing left for my noon workouts and I didn't get in a bike ride.  I'm disappointed by those last three.  So it's 6pm - I've got 4 hours until I'm going to bed.  I got a ton of work done today so I have nothing left there.  That means that I can budget at least 1 hour for working out tonight - either jumping on a bike or the pull up program or whatever.  Let's see how it goes.

I did nothing.  I was wiped out.

W5D3 - BABC

This week has sucked, so far.

Monday, I did my ride on the phone call.  Then I had to leave about noon and drove my son to a location in Oklahoma (3+ hours away) for a BMX camp... then drove back.  I ate like crap and didn't get in any exercises that I planned on.

Yesterday, I didn't get my ride in and was exhausted.  I didn't eat most of the day and felt hungry all of the time.  I did have something from Burget King for lunch :(

Today, I have to get back on track.  I've got eggs for breakfast and I'll get the apple and almonds.  At least I know what I'm going to eat - normally, I wouldn't know and probably wouldn't care.

Let's get the day started.

I got tired of having these old Army shorts and using regular tshirts to workout in.  The shorts were a bit too small (read: nuthuggers) when they used to be regular shorts (you know, back when I was 200 pounds lol).  And I've ruined a bunch of tshirts bc I've worked out in them.

I bought 8 pairs of bcg mesh shorts (3XL) and 5 bcg moisture wicking shirts (XL) that I love to workout in b/c they're comfortable.  So, for the first time since Iraq I have dedicated workout clothes that fit correctly and I spent 78 bucks (that I barely had).

In other news, this week has sucked ass.  I have managed to get one workout in and that was Monday morning.  Monday afternoon I took a half day and drove Lucas to the other side of Tulsa for a BMX racing camp and drove back.  Tuesday, I started a new project and was so exhausted I didn't even attempt a workout then went to BMX racing that night.  Today, I didn't get in my bike ride.  I had changed into workout clothes and was adjusting my skates when I got a call that my dad broke his leg at the nursing home so I changed and rode down there another half day gone.  I've not eaten how I wanted.  I've not worked out the way I've wanted.  This week has sucked.

This week, I've learned that I need to get all of my meals ready for the day either that day or the day before and make sure they're available so if I need to run off then I can still take them with me - they're pretty easy to do and don't need to be refrigerated so I have no excuses.  I also need to make sure that if I can't do my workout as planned that I have a backup plan for a workout.  For example, when Lucas was at the BMX camp on Monday I could've strung my TRX up to my car or something.

over the last 5 weeks, I have noticed that even riding the bike 30 minutes a day 5x a week has improved my brain function (not concentration, yet) - so my brain is more active than it was - not remembering more, nor concentration/focusing more, but very active.

W5D70

You can see some good changes being made in my waist area.  I spent the whole weekend eating badly.  Tomorrow, I will rejoin eating correctly tomorrow.  I made some great progress on two applications today so I'm very happy.

Last week, I attempted to get in some heavy workout on Monday and screwed that up for the rest of the week.  This week, I'm just going to add the regular workouts without the weighted vest.  I AM going to add the weighted vest to my walks though.  So all day except when working out I'll wear the vest.

Follow the PUP and FGFBWO and Cize every day at lunch; the hourly mini workouts; and the 30 minute bike ride on the phone callsl;and eat when and how I'm supposed to.  That's all I need to do this week.

I have a plan to help my pull up workouts - I'm going to try a Y hold and use one arm to pull more horizontally than vertically and see how that goes.

	27Jul15	17Aug15	23Aug15
weight	285	282	283
neck	16.25	16.25	16.5
chest	42.75	42	43
navel	50.75/49.25	47.5	47.5
waist
hips	51.5	51.75	51.5
thigh	29.75	28.75	29.25
caliper chest	38	38	38
caliper abs	44	42	42
caliper thigh	40	36	38

W4D1 - BABC

I was going to do measurements every week and then pictures every 2 weeks.  I have slacked off a bit in remembering.

I've been logging everything in myfitnesspal.  I've been eating quite well save yesterday morning and saturday night - they were my designated cheat meals.  I had a dr pepper sat night and donut holes on Sunday morning.  They didn't taste good at all.

I've found eating the same things each day to be incredibly nice, again.  I loved juicing b/c it was so easy to do.  I knew what juice I was going to drink and when.  I like that structure when it comes to "dieting" as it is.  With BABD it's the same thing.  I know what my bricks are.  I know when my bricks will be eaten.  I know when I'm working out.  I know everything about my day except for work.  That's comforting to me.  I guess I don't know everything about my day - there could be curve balls - specifically when it comes to food and workouts I know what's going to happen and when and I don't allow the distractions.  Saturday morning I went to Haley's Hope (3rd or 4th year to troop that event) and took apples and almonds with me.  I didn't make eggs and I didn't take tuna.  When I got back from that event I had my next meal and still felt great.

I've been bicycling at least 4 days a week during my morning meeting.  My schedule says 5 days a week.  I always over schedule workouts and then get in about 1/3 of them.  Today at noon I'm hitting the Pull Up Program and Cize.  I'm looking forward to it.

Below are my measurement comparison.  If I had done one in the middle you would've seen a peak of weight up to 290.

	27Jul15	17Aug15
weight	285	282
neck	16.25	16.25
chest	42.75	42
navel	50.75/49.25	47.5
waist
hips	51.5	51.75
thigh	29.75	28.75
caliper chest	38	38
caliper abs	44	42
caliper thigh	40	36

So far, today's workouts haven't quite gone as planned - not bad, just not as planned.  The bike was ok - almost no pain in my butt from 30 min of riding.  The Pull Up Program - I couldn't do more than one set and that set (along with the normal hour workout) took 30 minutes to do.  I also did the Pull Up Program with a 40 pound weight vest and I'm a little sorry I did.  My rep max was 15 squat rows.  I hit the end at 8 Y-Fly-to-Biceps-Curl-to-Low-Row reps and 6 body saws almost took me apart.  I was able to do 3 pull ups at level 0 - so a lot of leg use. (sit on the floor and pull up until my thighs kick in about parallel with the floor and finish the pull up.  I thought I was going to make a regular pull up - I was wrong.  I haven't done Cize, yet.  that'll be in a bit after my shoulders have quit telling me I was stupid.

I finished strong last night and felt great.  I also noticed that my brain is running at speed again.  That's nice.  I'm glad it's not just depressed on the couch.

W3D4 - BABC

Wow has this week sucked for workouts.  I intended to get in the workouts continuing the roll from last week and the week before.  I was distracted by vacation with the kids. I thought about working out every day and did so with the kids; however, I did not do a workout - I did whatever activity we were punching through.

So week 3 day 4 is here.  I've f'n wasted 2.5 weeks.

This morning has sucked butt, so far.  I hopped on the morning call, then hopped on my bike... then I found out my computer acquired a virus sometime last night.  I didn't let it go out to the bar to pick up other peripherals so i'm not sure how it managed to get infected.  The good news was the virus was a minor trojan (note the difference between a trojan virus vs a trojan condom) and was easily squashed by Symantec.  I still had some browser extensions I had to quash.  So my phone call was crap and I'll have to reschedule my morning bike ride for later today.

Noon workout (the Pull Up Program/Feel good and Cize) may also have to come in later tonight as I'm planning to take a motorcycle ride at lunch - we'll see.  I may still do the workout and ride later tonight (depending on if lucas is doing bmx tonight - if he is then i'll have to run his bike to him, if not, then it's a leisurely ride somewhere, anywhere).

No motorcycle ride and only part of the Feel good Upper workout - no Cize, yet.  However, I did do all of the exercises for the FEGUP workout with a 40 pound vest;which I weigh 334 pounds with workout clothes and the vest on.  Which means my standing weight naked is close to 290 - I don't like that at all - however, some of that weight is due to being "full".

We'll see if Lucas is doing BMX tonight - if he is then I don't know when I'll get my workout in.  However, I've eaten perfectly today, so far - that's a huge bonus.

I ate perfectly today.  I didn't even stray into the Dr Pepper zone.

I did not get in the workouts I wanted to.  I managed to get in 20 mins of my planned workout; 0 mins of my bike; and 0 mins of cize.

I feel good about today.  Tomorrow will be better.

Also, I can't fit comfortably into my riding jeans for my motorcycle -- so this needs to get fixed.

W2D2 - BABC

Yesterday was good and bad.  I managed to get some things moving in my digestive system; however, I also added more to the system so I didn't do what I intended to.  At the end of the day, I was right back where I started at.  I really need to flush my system and maybe I'll do that tomorrow or Thursday.  I have too much to do around town to do that today to be trapped in my car to have a need to go to the bathroom.

I did get in my 30 minute bike ride.  I pushed really hard the last minute of my ride; up from 30s yesterday.

W2D1-BABC

I did crappy logging my workouts and eating for last week.  I got things put into myfitnesspal, but not here.

First, an admission of badness - I ate like complete crap this weekend.  I didn't eat one vegetable that didn't come as a tater tot, quesarito, or at one point a french fry.  I am not sure what I was thinking about, but eating better wasn't really one of the thoughts.  Most of the time, it was just "my wife is out of town and we have no food in the house and I don't want to mess with making the kids food"

Second, I worked out this weekend, but not in my home gym.  I cleaned out my garage and spent about 4 hours doing so in the heat Fri night, Sat, and Sunday.  I sweat a lot and was sore from moving crap around.  I wouldn't say that I worked out vigorously for 4 hours - maybe 30 minutes of vigorous workout is what the 4 hours could be compressed in to.

Third, my body needs to be flushed.  After I eat I have intense heart burn and hiccups.  That's usually due to being "full" in the intestinal regions.  Today was a colaise day and lots of water.  I think when I had the protein shakes that caused some stoppage.  I had plenty of water, but I think there was already the start of a blocker.  This is also evidenced by the rapid gain in weight that I've got going on from 176-179 up to 190 in about a week and a half.  Now, I've eaten crappy, but there's no way an 11-14 pound weight gain happens with me in a week and a half... then I noticed my bathroom visits haven't been productive... so if colaise isn't kicking in then I'll have to call for MOM (update I had to call MOM).

In other news, the bike seat isn't hurting as much as it did the first two days.  I'm not sore when I sit in a regular chair after so that's good too.  I've also been paying better attention to my phone calls while on the bike b/c I literally can't do anything else.

I biked 30 minutes on my call this morning.  I need to get in my 30 minutes of the Pull Up Program and setup the camera to record my doing Cize.

I've outlined my eating plan for tomorrow so I need to make sure I stick with it.

W1D1 - BABC

It has been smoking hot the last few weeks.  The AC in the house has been keeping the house cooler.  By cooler I mean not the 90+ outside, but 77+ inside.  It's been rough for a guy with a lot of fat, like me.  I have been watching Survivor with my wife on Amazon Prime - I could not have watched this show each week on regular TV - the commercials, waiting, etc.  I also hate some of the people and look up wikipedia to see when they go.  In any case, I'm pumped up.  I challenge myself to some things in life and all of the ones I can think of involve something cerebral.  I've never challenged myself to anything physical except in BCT and AIT.  My only physical challenge has been to do a pull up, one single, solitary pull up.  I want more.  I want to go out in the heat and not be so hot b/c of fat.  I want to go out and be able to do things with my kids like ride a bike up a hill without stopping or walking my bike.  I want to be able to do the things they do at cali-move, or al kavadlo, or frank medrano.  I can do it.  I want to be able to climb a rock wall.  I weigh too much to be on a rock wall.  I want to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what I see.  I know a lot of my depression and issues with not feeling worthy play into not working out as well as get aggrivated by not being able to look in a mirror and see what I think should be seen.  My thighs are bigger around than my waist was in 1993 when I graduated from BCT.  I don't want to hear stupid shit like "you should be happy with who you are" and moronic crap like that.  I should be - I am not because how I am now is not who I am.  I don't give a crap what others think of how I look or how my clothes fit.  *I* care and that's the important part.  It's time to make the difference so I'm happy with seeing what is in the mirror.  There are so many things that are difficult to do at this weight and size.  Im not unhappy with me and I'm not unhappy at this size.  I am unhappy that I'm unable to do all of the things I want to bc I'm not in shape.

I did mostly well yesterday.  I did not have my full workout plan done until the evening.  I ate ok for almost the entire day then at the end I had Dr Pepper.  So tomorrow, I start over with eating correctly.

I wrote out a workout plan that figures out how to get in 4 workouts most days:
30 min bike ride
30 min cize
30 min pull up program
45 minutes pull up expansion which is done 5 minutes every hour from 8-5

That's a lot of workout for the day; however, none of it impacts my day.  I ride the bike during my conference call.  I do cize and pull up program over lunch.  And every hour I need to get away from my desk and drink water so I take 5 mins and get in a mini-workout.  According to myfitnesspal the total caloric burn is 2359 - and my total intake for the day is going to be a lot less (1200-1800).  We'll see how this goes.  I'm excited to do it, but I'm also apprehensive about it being too much.  However, I figured it up for 4 and 8 weeks.  So all I need to do is push for 4 weeks and then I'll be used to it so then I can push to the 8 week mark.  I can do anything for 4-8 weeks.  After that, I'd cut the exercise time down.  So we'll see how my body reacts during the next 4-8 weeks.

W1D0 - BABC

This is the start of my final run at becoming healthier.  I'm not going to add much of anything to the previous post.  I will say that I bought Shaun-T's Cize... I can't dance.  However, I've decided to do something that I hadn't thought of before; I'm going to record my workouts, especially those doing Cize.  If I record the workouts then I'll have an exact record of what I did do and when I'm done.  Then I'll be able to take the footage and show what I looked like starting and what I am able to do when I'm done.  Below is the basic plan.  It's not complicated.  The hardest part is going to be getting started.  Once I've started then this plan won't stop... For me, it's like the walk before you start jogging or running.  There's a point where you're already walking and where you need to be to do your jog/run and then you pick up the pace and your feet move faster and then you're jogging/running.  After that, you don't stop because you're already going.

5 min pull-up plan every hour from 8am to 5 pm
Cize w Shaun t daily
Pull-up Program/Feel Good Full Body schedule daily
Ride bike 30-60 min during morning phone call
Eat correctly following Badass Body recommendations
Drink a minimum of 8 8oz glasses of water
Meditation or Tai Chi and some Yoga
write in blog - weigh daily; measurements once a week; pictures every 2 weeks

Today, the first day consists of doing the first videos and recording what I can currently do.  This includes: pull up, plank, dips, cize, photos, and measurements.  I'll do a comparison with previous results, but only to show the backslide not in reference to this start.  In the last 5 months I've gone from 260-265 back up to 285 and my size has gotten back up (which we'll see below in the table of comparisons).  Essentially, I'm starting over - the measurements and pics will show just how starting over I'm going to be.  I find the following chart to be interesting.

	13May12	7Jun12	6Jun13	30Apr14	9Jul14	7Dec14	21Dec14	5Jan15	15Jan15	25Jan15	16Mar15	22Apr15	16May15	11Jun15	9Jul15	27Jul15
weight	270	272	270	284	279.4	286	275.6	270.6	273.6	272			270.8	279	282	285
neck	18	17.5	16.5	16.5	16.5	16.75	16	16	16	16.5	16	16.5	16.5	16.25	16.25	16.25
chest				44	41.5	43	43.5	42	42.5	42.5	42.3	41	41.5	42.25	43.25	42.75
navel	49	48.5	46.75	50	46.75	49.75	48.15	47.75	48	46.5	46	46.5	45.75	46.5	48	50.75/49.25
waist	46.5	48	43.5		45			46.5
hips	54	52.5	52	53	50	52.5	51.75	50.5	51	51	50.5	50.25	50	51.25	52	51.5
thigh									31.5	30.5	28.8	29	28.75	29.25	29.5	29.75
caliper chest											28	30	26	26	34	38
caliper abs											34	36	32	34	42	44
caliper thigh											34	30	30	32	34	40

Jan2010	May2014	July2014	19Jan2015	2Feb15	27Jul15

For a comparison with the last pics - here are the same two pics but with my stomach "sucked in"

W1D1

I have been wanting to restart my workout program for about 4 months.  I've been depressed, anxious, and a few other feelings that come from PTSD.  I know that this push isn't going to stop and I've been  a little reluctant to start up the workout cycles again.

On July 4th, 2015 I decided that would be my Independence Day against PTSD.  It's not that PTSD won't be with me; just that I'm tired of not doing the things I want to b/c I'm depressed or anxious or generally suffering with PTSD.  I've decided that this means I must eat better and workout.  My memory is really bad.  My focus is almost nonexistent.  My temper is quicker (not as bad as it used to be when I first came back).  My depression comes and goes but it seems like the waves of depression are bigger swells than the dips are into non-depression.  I'm not suicidal, just depressed (tired all of the time, lack of interest in things, etc)... and this depression isn't even close to as bad as my depression was in the past (pre 2009)... I'd call it more like "I need to eat ice cream by the pint".  It's probably unfair to blame it all on PTSD.  There's a lot of the depression and those feelings including focus and memory that I am very sure (but haven't proven) are weight and diet related.  There are studies that show working out decreases depression.  I'm pretty sure not weighing as much would decrease depression as well b/c I wouldn't feel as worthless b/c every time I look in the mirror I see someone who isn't worth much... including keeping in a shape that I'd be happy with.  Don't get me wrong my motivation for this is to be healthier and happier.  I am saying that I think my depression is part PTSD, weight, and diet... not exclusively one of those three.

The Plan
Workouts
I'm going back to the Pull Up Program and Feel Good Full Body Workouts 6 days a week.  I really enjoyed them and they were done in 30 mins or less.

I'm adding some hourly workouts too so I can get away from my desk for 5 minutes.  I liked these a lot as well and will include pullups, incline planks, incline press, dips, jump and hold.  Eventually, those will morph into hand stand pushups, planche pushups, etc.  For now, just don't them once an hour or every other hour will be more than enough.

I'm also adding a stationary bike to my day.  I have one status call that lasts at least an hour 4 days a week.  While I'm on those calls I'm going to ride the stationary bike (a regular bike on a mag trainer).  All of my conference calls will eventually be done while riding this bike.

I'm also going to start taking my mountain bike out more than once a week.  I usually ride with the kids on Wed afternoons and every other Fri afternoon.  I'm thinking about adding a Monday eve.  When I can't go out (b/c of weather like ice) I'm going to use the elliptical on the hardest setting.

I'm also talking with my wife about my designs for a climbing wall/American Ninja Warrior gym for the backyard (b/c she won't let me build a climbing wall in my office).  It's a good design.  I can't build it so I'm going to have to find someone who can and can do it fairly cheap.

Eating
I have struggled with food.  Not because I like eating.  I actually hate eating.  I eat b/c it makes me feel good... until I'm done then I don't feel as good.  It's like an addiction.  I get the high then come down from the high and it feels like crap then I eat again.  I'm against diets.  I don't want a temporarily uncomfortable way of doing things that gets results that won't last.  I want a comfortable way of doing things that gets results (even if slower) and do last - there's no "done with this diet" - I want something I can do and continue to do and like to do.  You would think as much as I like bacon I'd eat it all of the time, but I don't.  I actually don't eat many foods that aren't good for me.  The biggest downfall in my daily eats is the soda (currently it's Dr Pepper).  I haven't had a Coke since March... so I accomplished that goal.

I liked juicing because it was simple.  I knew exactly what I was going to eat during the day and when.  No questions, no figuring it out, no wasted time... just do it, 2 mins later it's done and I'm back to doing other stuff.  I also liked the fact that it tasted great and that helped me cut Coke.

I bought Christmas Abbotts Badass Body Diet book when it came out.  I like how she writes.  I also like the simplicity.  I like it a lot.  I got worried because the book is geared towards women then at the end there's a section on adjusting the book for men.  I've decided to follow this way because it's simple, I can eat the foods I like, and it doesn't feel restrictive in terms of "eat only rice cakes" or "pineapple only diet" or whatever.  I have a list of foods that I like to eat that match what she recommends... and there are a lot of them... bacon is not on the list, but I think a couple of slices after the first 21 days will be ok here and there :)

Chronicles
I will be journaling this journey as well.  I've managed to login to MyFitnessPal for 216 days already.  When that number hits 579-580 (July 4, 2016)  I'd like to be documenting a full year of workouts and big success.

This is about slow and steady.  I'm going to correct the mistakes I usually make where I add a bunch of stuff and excuse certain foods b/c I've been doing well.  I need to regain my brain and body.  I'm hoping that I'll see big improvements over the next 15-90 days to start with.

4 months off

Four months ago I ended 60 days of juicing and felt fantastic.  I vowed not to go back to the 280s.  Three months ago I took a trip with my wife to Memphis.  I had a sip of my first Coke in 90 days and I hated it.  While there, I had a Dr Pepper, it was ok.  When we returned from Memphis I still wasn't drinking any soda regularly (the two or so in Memphis was it), but I was eating out more.  Not bad, I went from not eating out at all to eating out 3 meals a week and went from 260 to 265 or so, but stayed steady at that weight.  About a month ago, I had gone up to 272-276.  Most of this was bad diet and just crap in my intestines.  I still feel like someone at 260 which is a great thing.  My weight went from 272 average to 279 in the last three weeks when I went from not drinking any soda to drinking Dr Pepper exclusively.  When I get stressed out this is what happens.  I know it, but I didn't prevent it.  I did well to avoid it for 3 months.

Because of my "downward spiral" I decided to look back at the last 3 years of workouts and breaks between.  Almost all of my workouts go 60 days then 90-120 days off.  I don't know why that is.  I know that each time I get stressed I quit working out and quit eating right.  In this case, I stopped working out and eating healthy for the first month I just didn't workout.  The second month I didn't workout and I didn't eat better.  The reason for the first month was just the exhaustion of 60days of workouts and juice.  The 2nd month was just depression and lack of interest in continuing, but motivated by not wanting to get bigger again.  The 3rd month I just maintained and was still depressed.  This last month was a ton of stress.

After looking at my workouts I've realized how it is that after 60 days I don't want to workout anymore.  After reviewing the workouts they start manageable then get ambitious.  When the workouts start off they're 30 minutes or less and easy enough to take time away from my day without feeling like I'm not going to be too stressed about not being at work.  I don't take lunches b/c I'm afraid that I'll not complete something and someone will be upset when in reality I need to take more breaks to get more done.  The paradoxical effect of working more with less breaks gets less done.

What I've learned is that I need to plan my workouts so they're not early in the morning, but best about 7am for walking or biking.  My best weight workouts are at lunch time.  Any other times I don't make the time.  I have way too much going on of my own design and I don't make time for myself.  If you read other blog entries you'll read this about me a lot.  I get stressed out and focus on other stuff that is what I really need to be taking a break from.  So the real goal *should* be to put together a sustainable workout and meal plan; one that I won't be giving up in 60 days, but will continue over the next year to accomplish my other goals.

So, with this round of workouts the goal is to drop the weight and size like before but as a terciary goal.  My primary goal is still going to be to do a pullup and I have a plan again.  My 2ndary goal is going to be to not stop working out after 60 days.

Here are some images from My Fitness Pal showing trends over the last 6 months.

Two months off

Two months ago I didn't intend to take a long break from workouts.  When life gets in my way, my workouts and diet go out the window.  In this case I had just finished 60 days of juicing and felt great.  I'm ready to get back to workouts, however, a month ago I wanted to see what would happen if I just kind of ate well for a month then crappy for another month.

Within a week or so of stopping juicing my weight went from 260 to 268 or so and has hovered there for the last two months.  Today, after a few days of pain following a motorcycle crash (ok I hit some gravel and slid on my side a short distance) I've gone from 268 to 276 - following my intestinal cycle, I'll probably lose that over the next couple of days (just a little constipated).

measurement location	16Mar15	22Apr15
neck	16	16.5
waist	46	46.5
hips	50.5	50.25
chest	42.3	41
thighs	28.8	29
caliper chest	28	30
caliper abs	34	36
caliper thigh	34	30

Other than my weight you can see there isn't too much of a difference in size.  The most important part to me isn't physical.  I'd love to be at 260 b/c I think I feel better there but that's probably bc I ate much better getting to 260.  However, I saw the scale at 276 this morning and didn't freak out.  I still see myself as weighing 260 I've just added a couple pounds that will come off easily.  That's a completely different thought process than "I weigh 276 and I'll never make it to 260".  That's a huge win for me.

Experiment over.  I've accomplished what I wanted and found out the answers that I needed to know.  I still fit into my clothes that I did (my jeans are slightly tighter, but I'm essentially the same size as I was 2 months ago and that's encouraging.  I didn't balloon back up to 286 and look like I weigh 286 - that's all good stuff for me.

So what are my next steps?  Well, I started Sunday by getting back to a "normal" diet for me which is now water 10-12x a day, whole foods (mostly vegetables and less meat), and some juices (occasional v8).  I'll be spending the rest of this week getting my body adjusted and hydrating my intestines to get things flowing correctly again.

Starting Monday, I'll be doing two different workouts through the day.  My wife challenged me to: 333 squats, 333 pushups, 333 crunches each day (approx 10000 over 30 days).  I've still got my workout which is 5 pullups, 3x10s plank, 8 incline presses, 15 dips, 5x5s jump and hold, 15 hanging leg raises, 25 jumpropes -- which I'll do every hour for 8-9 hours a day.

Each hour a day for 8-12 hours:

27-41 squats

27-41 crunches

27-41 pushups

5 pullups

3x10s plank

8 incline presses

15 dips

5x5s jump and hold

15 hanging leg raises

10-25 jump ropes

This should give me about 5-10 minutes of workout every hour.  If I have to drop anything it'll be the crunches and pushups, but we'll see how this goes.  My focus is still the last 7 exercises not the first 3.  My overall goal is 40-60 minutes of workout through the day.

One Month off

I hadn't intended to take nearly a month off from workouts - the intense workouts not just walking.  Many factors contributed to this break the primary reason was sickness and role change.  The role change was in my company, I took a week off to finish up the last push then I got sick and hadn't fully recovered until last week.  Last week, I spent the work week attempting to get caught up so I could go out of town.

Today, is the first day back to a real workout and modifying my food.  I think I'm going to go back to juice.  I felt great with it and never felt hungry.  I was losing weight and I felt great (I just wanted to mention that twice).

My workouts through the week are going to be essentially the same.  I may go back to the Pull Up Program and the Feelgood workouts like I was doing, but for now I'm going to do a single workout that combines the exercises I have a problem doing.  I'm also adjusting my workout so every hour has the same 5 workouts.  Every hour I need to take a break from work and get away from my desk.  I'm horrible about that.  So I've decided to set my alert and every hour I'll take a 5 minute break and do the same 5 exercises and amounts.  These particular exercises are for improving shoulder, chest, shoulder, and core strength with the primary result being a pull up, hand stand/decline pushup, etc.

My daily workout is going to include 30-60 minutes of stationary bike riding, for now.  As the weather gets better and better I'll adjust that to trail riding and hiking.  I don't want to spend hours working out each day (in a row).  I do want to get in at least 30 minutes of workout 5 days a week.  My goal is 60 minutes 5 days a week.  Those estimates are not including 5 minutes every hour for 8-10 hours a day (which would be between 40 and 50 minutes of additional calisthenics a day).  So from my totals, you're seeing 30-60 minutes of bike/hike workout, 30-60 minutes of calisthenics, and 40-50 minutes of calisthenics.  That's quite a big of workout.  Depending on how these go, I may end up breaking them down to something else.  An example would be 30-60 minutes bike/hike workout, and 40-50 minutes calisthenics (hourly), and then 30 minute workout of the Pull Up Program and Feel Good Full Body Workout.

The TRX Force workouts are good, but way too much for me.  I did the 12 week program last year and by the end I was just ready to not workout again.  My diet was messed up, my workouts were messed up.  I was excited in the beginning, but as I went through I just kept getting depressed.  Part of that is that I think "hey I can add more and more" until finally I can't do any (or don't want to do any).  I want to add just enough that I feel good, still get stronger, and don't feel like I don't want to workout.  I think this new plan will do just that.

W6D5

I haven't done very well blogging my status since I quit juicing.  My weight has gone up a bit and seems stuck between 265 and 267 right now.  That's probably about normal considering I probably eat 4 pounds of food a day, but it's still a bit of a bummer which also means that I've not been as interested in pushing b/c I feel like I've hit some sort of plateau.

I'm eating about 1000 calories a day and working out about an hour a day - but I still feel like i'm stuck at 265-267 when I should be 259; and that's messing me up pretty bad.  It shouldn't, but it does.

I'm insanely hungry right now - and extremely tired.

I had a horrific night last night where all of the energy I was directing at writing came crashing into no energy, no drive, and no will to push forward.  I'm done.  I've been done once before where I was broken to the point that I didn't care anymore.  I'm there again after 5-6 years.  I've been trudging along hauling the world like Atlas climbing a mountain.  People keep packing it on top.  Until last night, when I dropped nearly everything.  I was so tired and done last night that if I could've figured out a way to have a moving company show up and pack everything I have to put into storage I would've done that and moved out last night.  Moving forward doesn't seem to help me out; and carrying everyone else doesn't help me out.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I will, but I don't want to.  I would rather sell everything I have and take my car and drive to some place like the Florida Keys, sell my car, then fly to the Grand Cayman and live on a beach collecting cans daily to pay for food or massaging feet of tourists to pay for the alcohol i'd need to consume to forget about everything.  For the first time in many years I not only wanted to go back to Iraq, but I tried to figure out a way to do it.  It's crazy, to me, how much I miss a place I never wanted to call home; it's more real to me than where I'm at in life now.

I'm just done.  I want to quit.  I remember wanting to quit before - AIT and BCT.  All I had to do was say I wasn't going to keep going and I could've done anything else.  I wouldn't have been proud of myself, but I wouldn't have been doing the 15 mile runs or the massive sprint and running drills that I was sure were going to kill me at 5 am after the run.  I just wanted to stop.  At least with BCT and AIT there was an end date - something that said "after this you're free".  I don't have that end date right now.  There's nothing driving me forward except my kids and even then I can't give them or make everything that I want to with them.  I'm driving deeper into depression that until last night I hadn't seen in weeks or months.  I hate that my creativity phase where I get fully involved and sprint in my project (usually writing or filming) has gotten interrupted only 4 days in.  I'm so depressed that I don't want to write at all.  I'm quite lost at the moment.  I spend so much time doing things to make other people happy and appease others and holding everything together - it's times like this that I just want most of it to go away.  I want all of the stuff I didn't ask for to go away I'm tired of holding it all together.

In not so depressing news, my last workouts I have been pushing harder than before.  I feel like the workouts are great, but even then I'm hitting a point where I don't want to workout - so I'm going to force myself to workout and push through.

W6D1

I officially quit juicing last week.  I did the full 60 days.

Saturday I weighed in for the last time during the juicing weeks.  My weight hit a low of 260.8.  I was ecstatic that was a good start to the rest of the work I need to do.  24+ pounds in 60ish days and more than 30 pounds in the last year (so far).  I celebrated with waffles and bacon for breakfast; then dinner was a quesadilla and some shrimp parmesan on penne pasta.

Today I begin week 6 of workouts.  I'm changing up my workouts a bit.  I want to see what I can do daily when I push myself.  While juicing I was running out of energy about half way through the longer 60-90 minute workouts so I'd get done with the 30-45 min workout and be exhausted.

Also starting today I'm adjusting my diet to not be so juice centric and instead focus on solids.  Mostly, that means instead of juicing 6x a day I'll be eating many of the same solid foods to achieve the same goals.  Examples are eggs, bacon, and an apple for breakfast; midmorning apple and veggie protein with BCAAS; lunch swai and probably carrots; midafternoon apple and coconut water; and dinner swai or cod an ounce of cheese and a cup of baked cauliflower.

PullUp (1x)
Pullup 5x
incline plank 2x10s
incline press 8
dips 15
jump and hold 5x5s

Abs (1x)
hinge 15
suspended crunch 15
mtn climber 15
sanding body crunch 15
hanging leg raise 15

Feel Great Full Body Workout (Upper) 3x
Chest press 20-25
Jumping Jacks 50
Tricep press 20-25
Jump Rope 50
Mid back row 20-25
Biceps Curl (L3) 20-25

I took about 3 minutes between the upper body workouts and clocked in at 50 minutes today.  I still want to do a 2nd PullUp and Abs workout and then do 2-5 mins each of jump rope and jumping jacks.

I didn't run out of energy today until the very end, but my arms feel like jello.  I know I would "like" to do a workout first thing in the morning in a fasted state, but I'm not sure I can get my body to comply with getting out of bed at 7.  We'll have to see.  That would get my noon workout out of the way and free up that time to do a little extra workout or work on other stuff and not be stressed about not getting my workout done during work hours.  It would also free up time that I could meet others for an occasional lunch.

W9J3 - W5D3 (W3D0)

Today has been a very weird day.  I woke up this morning and weighed in at 264 (YAY!) and taped myself and lost some more size.

I started to workout and while doing my inverted pushups I developed a nosebleed so I stopped.  I then attempted to finish the workout I started and was too exhausted to continue.

My energy by the end of the day is completely used up.  I'm only getting about 900 calories and expending far more than that during my workouts.

I think for the next few weeks I'm going to switch up my routines.  I'm dropping TRX Force.  I could either do TRX Force or the other workouts I set up, but I can't do all of them.  The other workouts get me going and I like them more than TRX Force.  I'd like to continue doing TRX Force, but I don't know of any way to add energy without increasing the foods that I do eat.

So, until further notice I'm bringing back the Feel Good Full Body workout and the Pull Up Program workouts.  However, I'm swapping them.  MWF will be the Feel Good workouts and TTH will be the Pull Up Program.  I'll also continue my preworkout workouts with pullups, inclined planks, handstand pushups, dips, jumpandhold, hinge, suspended crunches, mt climber, standing body crunch, and hanging leg raises.  I like all of those exercises much better and seem more adept at being able to accomplish the sets.

Here's to a lighter tomorrow.  I have 2 days left (til Friday am) to reach 260 pounds (arbitrary goal - 261-262 will make me just as happy).  After that, I'll figure out if I'm going to continue to juice or if I'm going to do smoothies or something else.

photo time

I thought it was time to update the photos.  I've been juicing for 43 days and no coke for 44 days.  I have noticed a lot of difference in my size, now it's time to see what that size looks like.

I copied the last post about photos with comparisons so I could put all of these side-by-side with todays.

Previous picture comparisons
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2012/06/old-pictures.html
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2014/05/picture-comparisons.html
http://elvisapocalypse.blogspot.com/2014/07/photos.html

Jan2010	May2014	July2014	19Jan2015	2Feb15

weights:
Jan 2010 - 270
May 2014 - 283
July 2014 - 277
Jan 2015 - 268
Feb 2015 - 264

You can see some drop vertically in my belly from Jan to now.